Our breakup has been incredibly difficult for me. I realize now how much I took you for granted, and that, as much as I bluffed about it, I had never actually pictured a future that didn't have you in it. It was a rude awakening.
June 4th would have been what I was calling "Renewal Day". It was the anniversary of the last time you forgave me and took me back that sunny day on the sandy cliff. I envisioned Renewal Day to be a day of celebrating you and your willingness to not give up and try again, a reminder of the amazing gift your love is, an opportunity to express appreciation for having it still after all we have been through, and a reaffirment of my dedication to you. One of the many mistakes I made was only trying to remind myself of this once a year, and not every beautiful day...
Broken Hearts
Until you walk a mile in my shoes…
I speak today on behalf of partnered-caregivers; I use the term “partnered” rather than “spousal” to acknowledge all of the situations where someone is caring for a partner who is the love of their life.
I have been providing care to my partner since they were disabled twenty years ago - just three years into our marriage. I belong to a network of partnered-caregivers, and I can tell you that there are many, many people in my same situation. There are few resources for us to utilize; few support groups for us to turn to; we live in a hidden world.
We learn early on that when someone asks “how are things going?” they don’t want the real answer, so we learn to smile and say “it’s fine” or “we’re good” or “we’re managing.” We learn to bite our...
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I really don't understand you. Understanding a woman is never easy: whatever behavior a man decides to have, always seems to be the wrong one. Especially if in the past the same woman has repeatedly made it clear that she is annoyed by the presence of the one who is writing this open letter. I am sorry that this letter is written on March 8, the date chosen for International Women's Day. But this too has a sense, a reason for it. Throughout the time we interacted virtually I never once wrote and said anything even remotely close to the intent to belittle or humiliate you. I think even with all the imagination possible in this world it would have been impossible for anyone to misunderstand the words I wrote. But you did. You were able to feel offended, insulted and humiliated by the words...
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In 2014, while you were praying to God to be whole, He also probably challenged me in a very unusual or unique way. At that time I was looking for some things, some knowledge or (if you prefer) information on the existence or not of certain possibilities. I was so focused on these researches that one day suddenly (it was late 2013, or early 2014 I don't remember) a sort of voice, like a sixth sense "spoke in my head" (but I had more the feeling that it was really a superior being and not just my sixth sense) and told me that there were more important things in a man's life than dealing with things I most likely would never find. However, I was so determined to continue on my path that I thought (in order to answer to Him) that even if I had found the best woman in the world perfectly...
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Dear Ex Best Friend,
I'm sorry for what I said but you really hurt me, pushing me away for your new friends but getting upset when I made new friends. I told you a SECRET and you went and told her! I was 11/12 and made a mistake yet you still won't talk to me properly. Yes, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done what I did but you hurt me and didn't seem to care. We went through highes and lows together we were best friends for years. You supported me through everything, yet when I make a mistake you can't forgive. You knew about my insucraties and friends yet you did exactly what I was worried a friend was going to do. Yes, I wish you could forgive me but not if your not going to apologize for what you did. I wasn't the only person to stop our friendship. I played games with other people at...
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My Dearest Love,
Despite the fact that I have not thought of you more often than usual in the past weeks, you have consumed my waking energy this night. You come to mind in a fleeting and familiar way everyday, of course, as those you have loved and lost often do. But tonight is not the same shadowy absence, the cold, comforting wisp that breathes over interspersed moments. Tonight, it is as if I can feel you on the block, and if I only went for a walk, I would find you settled on a rock down the way, watching the stars.
Tonight, the feeling of a safe and gentle quiet that only you have ever given me has crept over me in a way that inspires deep and incomprehensible emptiness. Your laugh echoes faintly in my ears while memories of your gentlemanly demeanor and...
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It’s weird saying goodbye to someone I haven’t spoken to in almost 2 years, but that’s what’s this is. It’s me not checking up on your Instagram, not spying through Facebook and finally giving up on any hope for you.
I’m just one of many girls - since me I think there’s been about seven or eight, which makes the year or so we were on and then off again and again, seem like something of a dating record for you. Though it was never dating. I was never someone you admitted to being with. Why was that? The insecure part of me feels that you were ashamed of me, I was like scraping the bottom of the barrel for you in some way. What would people say or think - the consequences could’ve been bad.
Thing is - I didn’t care. It was just refreshing to have someone see me as more than a...
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Hi K.,
If you count this from the time we made up after our first fight, it would've been just a little bit over two years now. If you count this from the argument we had over faith, it would've been almost two years now. If you count this from the time I decided to text you "goodbye", it would've been one and a half years by now. But, does time matter? Because regardless,
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We were friends, at least I thought so. Actually, I still don't know what we were. I can't be sure of anything, anymore. It's gotten to the point where I have started doubting my memories, were they real? Did I create them because I liked having you in my life? All this is because of how much you have changed. But I kept on chasing you. You don’t answer and I text you again, making excuses that maybe you're just too busy with work or studying. Maybe you dropped your phone and a car happened to drive over it, yes, I have quite the imagination. But the truth, no matter how much I don't want to accept it, is that you're not the same person. You’re not the same guy who had my back. You’re not the guy who used to hold my hand when I was cold. You’re not the guy that used to always take my side...
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Hmm...Where do I start? Well it's 9:42am this sunday morning and I am having this thoughts of too much overthinking. I don't know what to say and I don't know what to feel. No one to talk to, just me and my plants. Well apperently I have my family but I am too shy to share this emotional thoughts I am going through right now. Because I am worried that they might think of me as a Drama Queen, but I am not so imma just keep this through myself. So this past few weeks I had this emotional breakdown that to the point i cried and cannot control it anymore. I've been thinking so many things like being pressure in so many things that i don't even wanna talk about and put much effort on it. I am trying and keeping myself as strong as possible. The problem here is i have trust issues, trust that...
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