Hey A,
I wish one day you knew how much it destroyed me when you left. I was never ready for you to leave. I never want to miss you, miss your smile, your eyes, your voice, your laugh and your existence. Because I wanted you forever to be in my arms. I could spend long hours looking at you and your smile. Do you even realize how amazing you were to me? I never regret you for once, because at one point, you were exactly what I needed. You spent your day and night with me. At some point you showed me your love and your care towards me. You used to call me beautiful. But how could you be so ugly towards me at the end of our relationship. You said you misses me every day. But why you’re the reason for us to be apart. You claim to love me forever, but why do I always feel like you hate me....
Broken Hearts
**TRIGGER WARNING**
The following writings will touch on topics such as death, rape, assault, abuse, suicide, self-harm, and eating disorders.
I Was Groomed
I was 12 years old when I received my first dick pic. I had never seen such a thing, I didn’t know what I was looking at. I was alone in my room, on my HP laptop, which was riddled with viruses from downloading different cursors, such as the flying hot dog I was currently using to scroll through explicit messages. Like any 12 year old, I had dreams, I had hopes, and I had special interests. I was always ashamed to say that I loved My Little Pony, especially after what I saw the fanbase become, but I had found a home online, with friends who didn’t judge me, and people I could talk to when things at home were too hard...
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I let it happen.
I ultimately don't understand myself and I think that's why I let a lot of things that happen(ed) in my life happen. I don't understand why I am the way I am. I let myself get walked over. I'd like to blame it on thinking I just have too big of a heart and always search for the good in people but I know that's just an excuse. In reality I just don't stand by the boundaries I set to help myself. I see the problem but I do nothing to fix it or stop it.
I'm trapped in a relationship I know is no good for me and will only hinder my future. ---I fell for an alcoholic who has no dreams or ambitions to do anything differently with his life--- There is literally nothing about this relationship I see pushing me towards the life I want. I see the repeating cycle and I want...
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Our breakup has been incredibly difficult for me. I realize now how much I took you for granted, and that, as much as I bluffed about it, I had never actually pictured a future that didn't have you in it. It was a rude awakening.
June 4th would have been what I was calling "Renewal Day". It was the anniversary of the last time you forgave me and took me back that sunny day on the sandy cliff. I envisioned Renewal Day to be a day of celebrating you and your willingness to not give up and try again, a reminder of the amazing gift your love is, an opportunity to express appreciation for having it still after all we have been through, and a reaffirment of my dedication to you. One of the many mistakes I made was only trying to remind myself of this once a year, and not every beautiful day...
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Until you walk a mile in my shoes…
I speak today on behalf of partnered-caregivers; I use the term “partnered” rather than “spousal” to acknowledge all of the situations where someone is caring for a partner who is the love of their life.
I have been providing care to my partner since they were disabled twenty years ago - just three years into our marriage. I belong to a network of partnered-caregivers, and I can tell you that there are many, many people in my same situation. There are few resources for us to utilize; few support groups for us to turn to; we live in a hidden world.
We learn early on that when someone asks “how are things going?” they don’t want the real answer, so we learn to smile and say “it’s fine” or “we’re good” or “we’re managing.” We learn to bite our...
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I really don't understand you. Understanding a woman is never easy: whatever behavior a man decides to have, always seems to be the wrong one. Especially if in the past the same woman has repeatedly made it clear that she is annoyed by the presence of the one who is writing this open letter. I am sorry that this letter is written on March 8, the date chosen for International Women's Day. But this too has a sense, a reason for it. Throughout the time we interacted virtually I never once wrote and said anything even remotely close to the intent to belittle or humiliate you. I think even with all the imagination possible in this world it would have been impossible for anyone to misunderstand the words I wrote. But you did. You were able to feel offended, insulted and humiliated by the words...
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In 2014, while you were praying to God to be whole, He also probably challenged me in a very unusual or unique way. At that time I was looking for some things, some knowledge or (if you prefer) information on the existence or not of certain possibilities. I was so focused on these researches that one day suddenly (it was late 2013, or early 2014 I don't remember) a sort of voice, like a sixth sense "spoke in my head" (but I had more the feeling that it was really a superior being and not just my sixth sense) and told me that there were more important things in a man's life than dealing with things I most likely would never find. However, I was so determined to continue on my path that I thought (in order to answer to Him) that even if I had found the best woman in the world perfectly...
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Dear Ex Best Friend,
I'm sorry for what I said but you really hurt me, pushing me away for your new friends but getting upset when I made new friends. I told you a SECRET and you went and told her! I was 11/12 and made a mistake yet you still won't talk to me properly. Yes, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done what I did but you hurt me and didn't seem to care. We went through highes and lows together we were best friends for years. You supported me through everything, yet when I make a mistake you can't forgive. You knew about my insucraties and friends yet you did exactly what I was worried a friend was going to do. Yes, I wish you could forgive me but not if your not going to apologize for what you did. I wasn't the only person to stop our friendship. I played games with other people at...
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My Dearest Love,
Despite the fact that I have not thought of you more often than usual in the past weeks, you have consumed my waking energy this night. You come to mind in a fleeting and familiar way everyday, of course, as those you have loved and lost often do. But tonight is not the same shadowy absence, the cold, comforting wisp that breathes over interspersed moments. Tonight, it is as if I can feel you on the block, and if I only went for a walk, I would find you settled on a rock down the way, watching the stars.
Tonight, the feeling of a safe and gentle quiet that only you have ever given me has crept over me in a way that inspires deep and incomprehensible emptiness. Your laugh echoes faintly in my ears while memories of your gentlemanly demeanor and...
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It’s weird saying goodbye to someone I haven’t spoken to in almost 2 years, but that’s what’s this is. It’s me not checking up on your Instagram, not spying through Facebook and finally giving up on any hope for you.
I’m just one of many girls - since me I think there’s been about seven or eight, which makes the year or so we were on and then off again and again, seem like something of a dating record for you. Though it was never dating. I was never someone you admitted to being with. Why was that? The insecure part of me feels that you were ashamed of me, I was like scraping the bottom of the barrel for you in some way. What would people say or think - the consequences could’ve been bad.
Thing is - I didn’t care. It was just refreshing to have someone see me as more than a...
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