Broken Hearts

In 2014, while you were praying to God to be whole, He also probably challenged me in a very unusual or unique way. At that time I was looking for some things, some knowledge or (if you prefer) information on the existence or not of certain possibilities. I was so focused on these researches that one day suddenly (it was late 2013, or early 2014 I don't remember) a sort of voice, like a sixth sense "spoke in my head" (but I had more the feeling that it was really a superior being and not just my sixth sense) and told me that there were more important things in a man's life than dealing with things I most likely would never find. However, I was so determined to continue on my path that I thought (in order to answer to Him) that even if I had found the best woman in the world perfectly...
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Dear Ex Best Friend, I'm sorry for what I said but you really hurt me, pushing me away for your new friends but getting upset when I made new friends. I told you a SECRET and you went and told her! I was 11/12 and made a mistake yet you still won't talk to me properly. Yes, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done what I did but you hurt me and didn't seem to care. We went through highes and lows together we were best friends for years. You supported me through everything, yet when I make a mistake you can't forgive. You knew about my insucraties and friends yet you did exactly what I was worried a friend was going to do. Yes, I wish you could forgive me but not if your not going to apologize for what you did. I wasn't the only person to stop our friendship. I played games with other people at...
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My Dearest Love, Despite the fact that I have not thought of you more often than usual in the past weeks, you have consumed my waking energy this night. You come to mind in a fleeting and familiar way everyday, of course, as those you have loved and lost often do. But tonight is not the same shadowy absence, the cold, comforting wisp that breathes over interspersed moments. Tonight, it is as if I can feel you on the block, and if I only went for a walk, I would find you settled on a rock down the way, watching the stars. Tonight, the feeling of a safe and gentle quiet that only you have ever given me has crept over me in a way that inspires deep and incomprehensible emptiness. Your laugh echoes faintly in my ears while memories of your gentlemanly demeanor and...
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It’s weird saying goodbye to someone I haven’t spoken to in almost 2 years, but that’s what’s this is. It’s me not checking up on your Instagram, not spying through Facebook and finally giving up on any hope for you. I’m just one of many girls - since me I think there’s been about seven or eight, which makes the year or so we were on and then off again and again, seem like something of a dating record for you. Though it was never dating. I was never someone you admitted to being with. Why was that? The insecure part of me feels that you were ashamed of me, I was like scraping the bottom of the barrel for you in some way. What would people say or think - the consequences could’ve been bad. Thing is - I didn’t care. It was just refreshing to have someone see me as more than a...
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Dear Nanshini Reedha, Each and every single night, a one-word question comes to haunt me: WHY? Why did you use me? Why did you make promises only to break them without any impunity? Why did you promise loyalty only to betray me in a way that you were well aware would have broken and ruined me? As I pour these words on this blank paper, and see the humid spots being left by my tears, I ask myself what is the purpose of voicing the contents of my heart out when even my screams no longer reach your ears. You made countless promises but the bitter truth is that you honoured none. You told me time and again that you will not be able to live without me. Yet, today after having discarded me like the most useless atom in the universe, you are living to say this to Jayson. You vowed that you...
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Hi K., If you count this from the time we made up after our first fight, it would've been just a little bit over two years now. If you count this from the argument we had over faith, it would've been almost two years now. If you count this from the time I decided to text you "goodbye", it would've been one and a half years by now. But, does time matter? Because regardless,
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Dear Nanshini Reedha, You didn't give me enough credit. I put you on a pedestal; I praised you for everything you did right, and even when you did wrong, I still thought you were the greatest. You see, I know what it's like to appreciate what is in front of me. I have loved, and I have lost. And when I found you and got to know what was deep down inside you, I began to fall for that. But that's not who you were. That's the person you wanted to be. You wear a mask every day. You put on a big show for everyone around you. Well done! You have them convinced. But me? Not so much. I challenged you to really think about the person you wanted to be. The person you don't show to others. And for a while, you were that person for me. I got your best. And it was wonderful. But when you were done...
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We were friends, at least I thought so. Actually, I still don't know what we were. I can't be sure of anything, anymore. It's gotten to the point where I have started doubting my memories, were they real? Did I create them because I liked having you in my life? All this is because of how much you have changed. But I kept on chasing you. You don’t answer and I text you again, making excuses that maybe you're just too busy with work or studying. Maybe you dropped your phone and a car happened to drive over it, yes, I have quite the imagination. But the truth, no matter how much I don't want to accept it, is that you're not the same person. You’re not the same guy who had my back. You’re not the guy who used to hold my hand when I was cold. You’re not the guy that used to always take my side...
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Hmm...Where do I start? Well it's 9:42am this sunday morning and I am having this thoughts of too much overthinking. I don't know what to say and I don't know what to feel. No one to talk to, just me and my plants. Well apperently I have my family but I am too shy to share this emotional thoughts I am going through right now. Because I am worried that they might think of me as a Drama Queen, but I am not so imma just keep this through myself. So this past few weeks I had this emotional breakdown that to the point i cried and cannot control it anymore. I've been thinking so many things like being pressure in so many things that i don't even wanna talk about and put much effort on it. I am trying and keeping myself as strong as possible. The problem here is i have trust issues, trust that...
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Dear Ghostees. You know who I am. The girl you think is generous. Is a bit flaky but reliable in that she keeps a promise. But she hasn’t replied to your messages. You probably think it’s your fault. Or are worried about me. The truth is, I just don’t have anything to say. I’m fine, I’m terms of my physical health. I could probably exercise smarter and eat better. But I don’t binge or starve myself. The next question would be my mental or emotional health. This is less straightforward. The mystics might call what I’m having ‘a dark night of the soul’, the doctors, depression, but for me neither of those fits the bill. I feel a deep sadness, a grief which seems to have no bearing on my everyday existence, and a surface calmness. All my superficial exchanges with people feel false, I...
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