Broken Hearts

Lauren This is certainly not the first letter I’d ever send to you if I found you. This would be the second letter, after having asked and received permission from you to send this one. I’ve been looking for you for a little while, to no avail. I wonder how you could not have any digital signature anywhere. It’s interesting how someone so remote in time and who probably hasn’t thought of me in decades is in my thoughts today. But I’ve been looking for lots of old friends and acquaintances lately. Someone in conversation said it was “end of days shit” and I suppose there’s a bit of truth to that. (Don’t worry, I’ve taken good care of myself and am quite healthy, though with a little less hair!) It's been what, over 30 years since we knew each other. I know, I know, it was my...
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Missing you again, What’s new there? Constantly thinking of you, With a blank stare. Why couldn’t things be different? Why did it have to end this way? Did you even love me? Were you even gay? Looking back, I don’t think so, There’s nothing more to say, Except I don’t feel like it’s done, I can’t accept it ended this way. But when it comes down to it, The words don’t want to come out, Nothing inside makes sense, Filling me with doubt. You broke my heart, But you already know that, Which is why I haven’t heard a thing, I miss you so much, Me, hands on the steering wheel, On the M1, Listening to you sing, Sometimes I think I hate you, Sometimes I hope that you’re alone, Doesn’t stop me thinking of you, I’m like a dog with a bone. I hope you hurt as much as me, I...
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Not long ago you said you’d love me forever You said in fifty years we’ll still be together “I need you”, you said Telling me in not such a long time you’d be dead But it was all a lie You were never going to die Took my heart in the palm of your hands Said you’d look after it, said you would keep it The only thing you kept was me and you kept me a secret Should’ve known then, but love is blind Thought you were the best person ever; so sweet...
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Dear Yvonne, It is my biggest hope that you will read this and understand the sincerity and depth of my regret and sorrow. Only now, thirty years later, do I understand the sheer selfishness and stupidity of my actions. It fills me with pain to think about what I did to you, yet I know that the anguish within me is nothing compared to the distress I surely caused you all those years ago. It was late 1992 or early 1993. You I think were 27 years old and lived in Hurlford, somewhere off to the right of the Galston Road as you drive from Hurlford towards Galston. I was a stupid young 20 year-old university student, from Kilmarnock, but studying in Glasgow, living there during the week and often coming back to Ayrshire to meet friends at the weekend. It was late one Friday or...
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My dearest love, You are my lifeline. You stole my heart a long time ago. I feel so strongly for you, a feeling I’ve never felt before. You taught me how to love and feel love in the very few moments that we shared together. Until you came along I didn’t realise how selfless I could be in love. My darling if only I could let you know how I feel… Sometimes I wonder whether the universe is against us? Or is it that you don’t feel for me the way I feel for you? In this very moment it feels like I’m swimming in a vast ocean with no land to be found. My soul is tired of waiting. I write this, thanking you for all that you have taught me and made me feel over the years. Maybe in another life I would be brave enough to tell you how I feel and perhaps have our very own fairytale ending. As of...
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Dear Darius You know I went to mental hospital, but I wonder if you would care if you saw why. Remember when I ran away before Music Fest? I was way worse than that. I would run away from my parents. I didn’t trust them anymore. I thought they were going to hurt me. I ran barefoot and burnt my feet, than stood on top of an ant’s nest. I was so confused that I thought my parents weren’t my real parents. I was so confused that I removed my clothes. I was so confused that they had to put me asleep. I can’t eat strawberry mousse anymore because they put me to sleep with fake strawberry mousse. I don’t know if you care. I don’t know if you would care if you saw me, or if you’ll just dismiss me as a nutcase. It brings me so much pain to recollect the messages I sent you. It...
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This afternoon, Thoughts of you suddenly filled my mind. Like lovelorn fool I filled my pepers of your name, repeatedly and religously wirting your name, over and over again. I hate you… just when I finally and confidently could say that im over you, you betray me in the dirtiest way. You visited me in my dreams, the longing ang aching that my heart and soul feels for you became apparent. I was fooling my self all this time…a fool I am. I hate you.. leave my thoughts alone.. leave me alone, I beg of you. If your heart can not be mine, if us is not meant. I beg of you not toy with me, not with my heart, noy with this fool..
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PART A - ND's OPEN LETTER to MC Members June, 2022 Dear MC Members, Peace be with you. Firstly, I would like to apologize to have to bother any of you with this. Secondly, I would like to ask for your help. Since July, 2021, I have put in 7 effortful attempts in trying to get my membership released from Maranatha and have been stonewalled by a couple of pastors regarding this at every turn. The reason I stood up to addressed the church people (as a last resort) at the 4/3/22 service is because I am left with no other option to get my request, or my side of the situation, heard in this church. And now I am исключена? For those who are willing to hear me out and help me, I will describe to you the circumstances around this all. All names are initialed to avoid doxxing...
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Baby, Two days ago, we just decided to end things between us. I have been thinking about this for a while, because I feel like you are not into this as I am. And today, I was proved right. When I asked you if we should keep going or not, you immediately wanted to end it, coldly and without hesitation. I kind of expected it honestly because you have been so distant emotionally. I figured that you didn't want me as much as I want you. I wanted to know details about you and your life but you're not telling me anything anymore. And I don't want to force it from you. What we had was so good in the beginning and I really thought it would last for a while. But all throughout the relationship, it was just a cycle of ignoring, fighting, and getting back together again which is not good at all...
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Well, now If little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you Little by little If suddenly you forget me Do not look for me For I shall already have forgotten you If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots Remember That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms And my roots will set off to seek another land
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