My Heart,
I love your perfection and flaws. I love every inch and bit of you. In fact, since the beginning of our relationship, I knew early on that you are the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. As time passes by, my love for you has been growing deeper. And whatever it takes, in sickness and in health, in richer or poorer, in happiness and sadness, with established career or just floating, with or without approval of our relatives, until we get older, until we're laid on our death bed, I will stick with you. I will always be patient, understanding, supportive, loving, caring, and sweet to you and your love ones.
Despite the challenges we encountered, our years together were definitely the best for me. I felt like my life with you was perfect and I wouldn't trade it...
Broken Hearts
It's been a year with no contact, but i still remember everything i said that night. My words won't choke me anymore. I was a fool, really. First, for believing that we would ever had anything, because now i see that i was only a thing for you to pass your time. Maybe a toy for your amusement, or maybe even less than that. You were bored in your relationship, i was available. It was the perfect match, i admit. Things seemed well when the ghost of your girlfriend didn't have a face, a name, or a social media account. Sometimes i wish i didn't ease the curiosity, that i didn't flirt first that day, that i hadn't liked you like i did. Then i found her social media account, just like you wanted, from all the clues, i finally did. Comparision does kill, i died at least hundred times since i...
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Dear Daniel,
It’s been a while. I have so many things to tell you, but I can’t find it in me to call you. I’m afraid you won’t answer, or you’ll answer, tell me how you missed me and I would fail to resist. I have to remind myself that I you wanted to talk to me, you would.
I am a realist now. You made me become one. I once was a nonbeliever in love. Then, I met you; you made me believe in love, made me believe that I had something you were too scared to lose. Then, you left leaving little pieces of yourself in every aspect of my life. I grieve you while you’re still living. I guess that my grief for you is a reminder that what I felt for you was real, that my grief for you is all the love I had to give you that now has no where to go. It hurt when you left. We were happy, or at least...
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Lauren
This is certainly not the first letter I’d ever send to you if I found you. This would be the second letter, after having asked and received permission from you to send this one. I’ve been looking for you for a little while, to no avail. I wonder how you could not have any digital signature anywhere. It’s interesting how someone so remote in time and who probably hasn’t thought of me in decades is in my thoughts today. But I’ve been looking for lots of old friends and acquaintances lately. Someone in conversation said it was “end of days shit” and I suppose there’s a bit of truth to that. (Don’t worry, I’ve taken good care of myself and am quite healthy, though with a little less hair!)
It's been what, over 30 years since we knew each other. I know, I know, it was my...
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Missing you again,
What’s new there?
Constantly thinking of you,
With a blank stare.
Why couldn’t things be different?
Why did it have to end this way?
Did you even love me?
Were you even gay?
Looking back, I don’t think so,
There’s nothing more to say,
Except I don’t feel like it’s done,
I can’t accept it ended this way.
But when it comes down to it,
The words don’t want to come out,
Nothing inside makes sense,
Filling me with doubt.
You broke my heart,
But you already know that,
Which is why I haven’t heard a thing,
I miss you so much,
Me, hands on the steering wheel,
On the M1,
Listening to you sing,
Sometimes I think I hate you,
Sometimes I hope that you’re alone,
Doesn’t stop me thinking of you,
I’m like a dog with a bone.
I hope you hurt as much as me,
I...
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Not long ago you said you’d love me forever
You said in fifty years we’ll still be together
“I need you”, you said
Telling me in not such a long time you’d be dead
But it was all a lie
You were never going to die
Took my heart in the palm of your hands
Said you’d look after it, said you would keep it
The only thing you kept was me and you kept me a secret
Should’ve known then, but love is blind
Thought you were the best person ever; so sweet...
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My dearest love,
You are my lifeline. You stole my heart a long time ago. I feel so strongly for you, a feeling I’ve never felt before. You taught me how to love and feel love in the very few moments that we shared together. Until you came along I didn’t realise how selfless I could be in love. My darling if only I could let you know how I feel… Sometimes I wonder whether the universe is against us? Or is it that you don’t feel for me the way I feel for you? In this very moment it feels like I’m swimming in a vast ocean with no land to be found. My soul is tired of waiting. I write this, thanking you for all that you have taught me and made me feel over the years. Maybe in another life I would be brave enough to tell you how I feel and perhaps have our very own fairytale ending. As of...
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Dear Darius
You know I went to mental hospital, but I wonder if you would care if you saw why. Remember when I ran away before Music Fest? I was way worse than that.
I would run away from my parents. I didn’t trust them anymore. I thought they were going to hurt me. I ran barefoot and burnt my feet, than stood on top of an ant’s nest.
I was so confused that I thought my parents weren’t my real parents. I was so confused that I removed my clothes. I was so confused that they had to put me asleep. I can’t eat strawberry mousse anymore because they put me to sleep with fake strawberry mousse.
I don’t know if you care. I don’t know if you would care if you saw me, or if you’ll just dismiss me as a nutcase.
It brings me so much pain to recollect the messages I sent you. It...
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This afternoon, Thoughts of you suddenly filled my mind. Like lovelorn fool I filled my pepers of your name, repeatedly and religously wirting your name, over and over again.
I hate you… just when I finally and confidently could say that im over you, you betray me in the dirtiest way.
You visited me in my dreams, the longing ang aching that my heart and soul feels for you became apparent. I was fooling my self all this time…a fool I am.
I hate you.. leave my thoughts alone.. leave me alone, I beg of you. If your heart can not be mine, if us is not meant. I beg of you not toy with me, not with my heart, noy with this fool..
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PART A - ND's OPEN LETTER to MC Members
June, 2022
Dear MC Members,
Peace be with you.
Firstly, I would like to apologize to have to bother any of you with this. Secondly, I would like to ask for your help. Since July, 2021, I have put in 7 effortful attempts in trying to get my membership released from Maranatha and have been stonewalled by a couple of pastors regarding this at every turn. The reason I stood up to addressed the church people (as a last resort) at the 4/3/22 service is because I am left with no other option to get my request, or my side of the situation, heard in this church. And now I am исключена? For those who are willing to hear me out and help me, I will describe to you the circumstances around this all. All names are initialed to avoid doxxing...
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