More Open Letters

Dear Smart Puffs,

3,137

Dear Lighting in the Victoria’s Secret Dressing Room,

I’m not sure if you remember me,...

7,842

Dear Dreams,

Books, toothbrush, drown, raisin pie, leotards, cockadoodledoo, Napoleon,...

3,283

Dear Libido,

Okay, so what’s up with you these days?

Everybody knows that women...

3,570

Dear Last Pack of Camel Lights (Summer 2009),

3,159

Dear Sir or Madam,

As my Islamic Humanities exam draws near and my nose finds itself...

2,765

Dear Ms. Jordan,

My mother, an elementary-school librarian, gave me a copy of your book...

3,252

Dear Psychotic Dogs,

I think you may have noticed my affection for other animals—...

6,700

Dearest Lost Bikini Bra,

I wish I had the words to tell you how keenly I miss you.

...
3,160

Dear Wendy,

First of all, I want to say that I picked your chain over the other fast-food...

3,563

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