More Open Letters

Dear Mr. Miller,

I’m thrilled to be writing you. How admirable that you started a company...

3,048

Dear Low-Cut Pants,

I’m told that you feel grievously injured by my “radical” decision to...

3,753

Dear Eyebrows,

3,239

Dear Whoever Broke Into My Car This Morning,

Hello, oh pirate of the back streets, and...

2,987

Dear Global Warming,

I know I’m not supposed to like you. I’ve heard about your grandiose...

3,911

Dear Sirs and/or Madams,

You sadistic bastards.

Do you dislike kids? What else...

2,866

Dear Sonicare Electric Toothbrush,

I admit, I was always skeptical of your much-heralded...

2,918

Dear Vice President Cheney,

Let me express my condolences for the loss of your chief of...

3,587

Dear Jim at the Oregon Department of Revenue,

When I filed my taxes in February last year...

3,942

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