More Open Letters

Dear Hummingbirds,

Hey, would you take it easy already? What’s the freakin’ rush,...

4,038

Dear Jeepers Creepers II,

I see that a thin layer of dust is gathering on you. And that...

3,746

Dear Unemployment,

Nearly 15 years have passed since our last forced pairing. I treated...

2,854

Dear Unemployment,

Nearly 15 years have passed since our last forced pairing. I treated...

3,130

I am writing this letter as an individual who is tired of our culture's obsession with...

3,227

Dear Mr. Miller,

I’m thrilled to be writing you. How admirable that you started a company...

3,350

Dear Low-Cut Pants,

I’m told that you feel grievously injured by my “radical” decision to...

4,126

Dear Eyebrows,

3,573

Dear Whoever Broke Into My Car This Morning,

Hello, oh pirate of the back streets, and...

3,310

Dear Global Warming,

I know I’m not supposed to like you. I’ve heard about your grandiose...

4,240

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