More Open Letters

Dear Havingsaidthat,

A certain tentativeness of opinion has become fashionable of late....

3,240

Dear Facebook,

Go ahead, take whatever you want. I won’t try to stop you.

Utilize...

8,002

Dear Job Market,

3,700

Dear Elf on the Fucking Shelf,

You’re a book, a doll, a keepsake box. You’re an iPhone...

3,652

Dear Today Show:

During an episode I randomly watched while I was hungover, you invited a...

3,688

Dear Self-Interrupters,

You don’t know who you are, but I do. I’m the one listening,...

3,204

Dear Class of 1994,

I regret to announce my resignation as “Most Likely to Succeed.”...

2,730

Dear Targeted Online Advertisers,

I hesitate to write this, because honestly, much of...

3,425

Dear Arabic Labials,

A few years back, I taught English to speakers of other languages....

4,162

Dear Canonical Authors,

I regret the impersonal nature of this form letter, but time-...

4,159

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