More Open Letters

Dear Hot Canadian Zumba Teacher,

You didn’t know she’d had a heart attack a thousand...

4,521

Dear #fitgirls,

I’m worried that if I see another green smoothie on your Instagram, I...

3,351

Dear mango fly larva currently taking up residence in my left buttock,

It’s time to come...

5,258

Dear truckers,

I found your piss. Twenty-three bottles, to be exact, in the grass along...

3,437

Dear Paleo Diet Enthusiasts,

3,428

Dear ugly mug I painted at Paint A Dream last weekend,

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to...

3,126

Dear MTA Riders of the Male Persuasion,

I know you like to spread your chests wide,...

3,690

Dear Ex-Fiancé,

Sometime last summer I contracted an infection in my left hand.

...

7,174

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