More Open Letters

Dear Mr. Miller,

I’m thrilled to be writing you. How admirable that you started a company...

2,886

Dear Low-Cut Pants,

I’m told that you feel grievously injured by my “radical” decision to...

3,567

Dear Eyebrows,

3,062

Dear Whoever Broke Into My Car This Morning,

Hello, oh pirate of the back streets, and...

2,752

Dear Global Warming,

I know I’m not supposed to like you. I’ve heard about your grandiose...

3,686

Dear Sirs and/or Madams,

You sadistic bastards.

Do you dislike kids? What else...

2,735

Dear Sonicare Electric Toothbrush,

I admit, I was always skeptical of your much-heralded...

2,747

Dear Vice President Cheney,

Let me express my condolences for the loss of your chief of...

3,439

Dear Jim at the Oregon Department of Revenue,

When I filed my taxes in February last year...

3,753

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