Family

I’m driving to work after dropping by daughter off at school, and I am sobbing uncontrollably. I am so overwhelmed, exhausted, sad, lonely and stressed. And I cannot think of a single person I can call. I can’t call anyone because I am a people-pleasing, type A over-achiever who has spent her life trying to appear perfect, strong, independent and therefore rarely lets anyone in. I am also rarely honest about how I really feel unless I am at a point of complete distress. I don’t want anyone to know that I am not coping, that I am not in control, that I am weak in any way. I’m already late, because I’m always running late. I live in the opposite direction of my daughters school, and I drive backwards to get her there, and then battle terrible traffic for an hour and a half to get to...
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Dear "parents", Yes. You read that correctly. I use the term parents loosely. I grew up watching all the other kids around me with at least one parent who cared. I got to watch the other kids parents get them on and off the bus, take them to dances and events, cheer them on at sporting events, always smiling and laughing. The whole nine. You guys were so caught up in yourselves that you didn't notice anything going on with me...good or bad. I don't remember you happily going to my soccer games, no one showed up for my academic awards ceremonies, I was by myself all 17 times I won an award or medal for soccer. No one noticed when I was starving myself or went missing. Nothing. Instead of taking care of the life you made, one of you found a new and improved family while the other...
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Dear President Trump, In this book the crucible ,it was about some young girls who were dancing in the woods and got caught for their sins. This book basically lead me to my topic which is DACA , if you have no clue what that is .Its a program that was brought in 2012 by president Obama as a stopgap that would shield from deportation people who were brought into the United States as a child. It last 2 years at a Time. This program does not provide a pathway to citizenship . But the main reason this book lead me to my topic is because in the book people are targeted just like people today in society are being targeted. I feel I can connect with my topic because I have family who were part of this program . I have two cousins who are/were part of it . They were on there way to a...
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From the moment I told you I was pregnant, I knew we were done. I knew you didn’t want this and left me pregnant and alone. I finished up high school without anyone knowing I was depressed or pregnant! Ever since MY child was born, I’d always push for you to be in his life. I moved different states to make it easy for you, I didn’t take child support or ask you for a dime for him. All I asked was your time. For you to get to know him. You only did that when you wanted to impress one of your MANY 3 week hookups. You played father of the year and made me look like a bad person. Your whole family knew what an ass you were but nothing was ever said. When you met you now wife, she claims she’s been in my son’s life since he was one, NEGATIVE. You blew our son off for her. A 17 year old girl,...
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Dear the one I love the most, Let me start off by saying that since you've been gone, I have learned a lot. Everyday I wake up and I feel myself becoming a better person, I have you to thank for that. Nothing will ever take the pain away though. I will live the rest of my life having a missing piece in my heart. That piece is in heaven right with you. I will have that piece back someday. I know you are waiting for me too. After your death I started looking at life so differently. Words Hurt. Some things people say really puzzle me. One inconsiderate comment I hear within the whispers in the classroom run through my head all day. After your suicide I learned to bit my tongue more than I ever thought was capable. It isn’t easy but I know that not everyone is mature enough to...
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In India we always see our mothers waking up early doing all the chores and listing to everything doing everything for dadis fufas and buas and if she ever said anything she was tagged as a bad bahu with bad values which she gained from her parental side. And all of this continues people think by modernizing clothes they have modernized their thinking also but that is not true. now i got married to a man with whom i was in love with. I thought this a perfect life which anyone can get but it was not because i was in a Indian society. My judgement was started with namaste that she only passes smile and does not say namaste. I thought this was my mistake and tried to rectified it my husband is controlled by my mother in law and sister in law. My sister in law's son stayed with us a n...
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Dear Parker, I am writing you because you are set to arrive shortly. We are yet to meet, but I want you to know that I already love you so much. Despite feeling uneasy about your arrival and not knowing exactly how my life will change, I still feel as if you are my single most greatest accomplishment in life. I am more than ready to finally get to meet you. I am not going to lie, I am ill-prepared for you but I promise I am a fast learner. I know you will change me for the better and I am thankful for that. There are so many “firsts” that we will experience together and I am so excited to be a father-son duo. The first time I hold you, I just know that you will light up my eyes. There will be your first crawl, your first steps, your first words, and that’s just the beginning for you...
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This is coming from the heartbroken girl you "raised". You chose a dog over me dad, I am now mentally, emotionally and physically scared by your dog, which you had no business in having, he's aggressive, and I'm not to blame for it, no matter how many times you drill it into my head. You always tell me to take responsibility for my actions, but your hypocrisy is not for me. I never beat the dog, never wrestled the dog and made it attack, I never made it so he couldn't walk dad. I think the dog represents me in a way. But he hurt me, and it's still my fault I guess. As my mother and I stay with my grandparents I lie awake in bed every night thinking how you never loved me and never will, you aren't my dad, you're the man who convinced me. You help my mother by emotionally abusing her,...
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I wish we could talk. I wish I could look at a picture of you and not feel anger. I'm trying to better my life this year and so far this is how it's gone: -Quit smoking ( My own way ) -A month away from finishing school. ( Grad date late Feb. ) -Studying for the test I need to take to get my license. ( In Mar. ) -Cleaned out everything I had in the basement. -Finished organizing and cleaning my room. ( I can walk in it ) -Currently doing laundry that I've neglected for months. -Got a boyfriend and he's more than I could have ever asked for. ( 4 months ) -I have a friend group now that I can confide in, laugh with, and supports me. And as far as my other goals besides getting the car, a full time job, and moving out. I also want to lose weight when I get a steady...
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You know, its midnight and i have been up for an hour now just bawling my eyes out. Why? Because why do i even try anymore? Why do i still try to joke around with you when all i get is a glare? Why do i try to start a normal every day plain ol conversation with you when you ignore me and dont respond to the simplest questions? Why do i find myself deciding whether or not you even LIKE me let alone love me? You are confused in so many aspects of our relationship. The problem is that i have become a family-oriented-powerhouse of a mother and a problem solver, and i still have time to cook and clean the house and be with our kids. And quite honestly, i think that scares you more than your fear of me being unfaithful. I dont have any reason to be unfaithful, because i dont need anyone else in...
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