To the “player” boy who is now the father of a little girl,
You were the cool guy back in the day. Handsome, athletic, and popular. You did what you wanted, said what you wanted, and no-one ever checked you. You had girls talking about you, smiling at you, flirting with you. You grabbed them without permission in the halls, smacked their butts, maybe even more. You called some girls names like bitch or slut. You talked about them in the locker rooms, shared personal stories with your boys about what you did the weekend before. You rated some of them on a 1-10 scale. You analyzed their body shapes. You were nice in the beginning to get the girls you wanted to go out with you. You text every morning and night, bought gifts, invited her out to eat or to the game on Fridays. As time went on you became physical. Once you got what you wanted, you were on to the next. You broke some hearts. You treated girls like loops on the old belt because you could have any girl you wanted. Everyone thought you were the man. The guys would hang out with you to try to learn how to get girls as well. You thought you were the man too. This may have repeated throughout middle school, high school, and college.
Now, a decade later, you have found the love of your life. You’ve married a beautiful women that you respect and adore. You’ve even expanded your family and created a beautiful little girl. She loves you. She feels protected with you. You are her hero in every way. In reality, every woman you have ever met was once a little girl just like yours. The girls you “womanized” back in your hay day never really deserved that treatment. How will you teach your daughter to demand respect, protection, and love from every man that tries to win her heart?
I urge you to take your own experience. No one knows a young mans mind better than you. Teach her that she has value and worth. Teach her that she has the empowerment to say no when she is not comfortable. Teach her that high school is just the beginning and there is so much more life to live afterwards. Show her what love looks like. A few text messages and 4 for $4 meals in a Honda Civic is not long term love. Teach her how to tell when a young man is pursuing her for self interest. A man that loves her will make sure he fights for his place in her life. She is the prize and someone that loves her will be patient enough to wait until he has earned her trust. A man will meet her family and spend time with them instead of in her room or in the basement alone. Teach her that her most precious physical and emotional possessions are gone forever once they are given away.
Show her what she deserves and she will never settle. She will remember the lessons you taught her because you, her father, her first love, her protector and hero set the standard.