To My Beautiful Wife,
I'm still struggling with our relationship. I have this desire to be whole, with you, to be fulfilled, expressed, accepted, and feel loved and know that you are happy. But I can't figure out how to make this happen. To reset the clock, as you've said, and go back to that time. How were we in the beginning, 17 years ago? That seems like a lifetime ago, and the details are becoming fuzzy.... I do remember feeling that you are very special, beautiful, kind and generous, and that my life wouldn't be the same without you. I fell in love with you, and being with you felt like the home I'd never had. You have healed me in so many ways.
Over the course of the last 10 years, we've really had some ups and downs, some real challenges as individuals and as a couple....
Broken Hearts
So I have been thinking on how to put into words why I feel I can’t show you my music. I think I am getting close, so let me share.
Although our time together was short, I have inexplicable feelings for you that I just can’t seem to shake off. Right now as it stands, you are the proverbial “one that got away”. I am OK with that.
The thing that I am not OK with is that you continue to send me messages here and there as if we were friends. I am sorry, but I cannot consider you as a “friend” in the true sense of the word. You have become much more to me and I can’t just forget about our past like that. To show you any part of me that is as personal as a song is out of the question.
There are a list of other things I have on my mind that I could tell you about. However, the way...
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It was my first week at a secular college, after transferring from a conservative Christian college. At eighteen, I had never even kissed a boy, so when a friend of my roommate made a move, I was all for it. I don't know if it was boredom, or low self esteem, or the promise of a "real college experience", but I went all the way. Almost immediately, the fact sunk in that I wasn't a virgin. After the initial, "I'm not pregnant", worry was over, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. I had let my family down, my God down, and myself down, in one swoop. I didn't know who I was anymore. Without the good girl, Christian persona, that I had spent eighteen years perfecting, I felt empty.
I felt used and worthless. What kind of good Christian man would want a dirty slut? I mean, I hadn't even...
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Since day one I knew you were different. You gave me feelings no on else has. I haven't had butterflies since my ex which has taken me years to get over. When I told you I liked you I wasn't just scared of rejection but that our friendship would be ruined. My friends tell me that you're really no good for me at all...I'm not sure what it is about you. I think it's finding someone you can tell everything to and be yourself around and always makeup with after you get into arguments but you're special...I wish I could just talk to you and tell you everything I just get so nervous around you. It's crazy I can feel the way I do about someone that I never had a promise with, but it's driving me crazy that I can't explain my feelings out of fear of pushing you away, but I know there's no pain...
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With you, I had it all. My life was one big never-ending fairytale. I looked forward to waking up every day because I knew I would have you by my side. My friends were all jealous because they wanted a love like ours. We were so incredibly happy. Together we could conquer the world.
We spent three amazing years together, and I can easily say the hardest thing I ever had to do was to leave you, with no reason or explanation, I just had to go. I loved you more than anything in the world, and I never wanted to hurt you. I never thought I'd see the day that you and I would have to be apart.
After my little brother died, I completely shut down. I kept so many things to myself. So many feelings that I know if I had just told you, you would have understood and been right there to help,...
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Dear You,
I always thought you were perfect. beautiful. Your love was toxic, and I took it in as a drug. I was addicted. To you. Or who I thought you were. Who I fell in love with wasn't you. It was the illusion you created for me. I opened up to you in ways no one has and will never see. You were my best friend. I knew when you were going to blink, when your next deep breath was gonna be. Boy, I was so in love with you. And unfortunately, many months later, I still am. I thought when we broke up, something was wrong. You just weren't being you. You were going through a teen mid-life crisis. But you weren't, because days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and eventually months will turn into years. You were my inspiration, you looked at life like it was a roller coaster,...
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You broke me.
It wasn't the first time that we had fought, but I never would have thought that it would have been the last.
We met in school. It was November, if I can recall correctly. You approached me before classes began, and then I awkwardly gave you my number after school. It was the beginning to the most tumultuous relationship that I've had thus far.
The first few months were amazing. It was all laughs and smiles. But then things turned sour.
We were at the school dance that night, when you ended up making me cry in the courtyard and then kissed my best friend after I had left. And the worst part was, that you didn't tell me. I had to find out from her.
It just wasn't the same after you had kissed her. We fought more than usual, and then it ended a month later,...
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I know how intoxicating it is, the way he looks at you like you’re the only girl in the world. Your self-esteem skyrockets as he worships the ground you walk on. You know that you’re out of his league, but his charm and the ego boost draw you in. You’ll ride the high for quite some time. A binding relationship will begin to unfold and there will no longer be you or him, just you and him.
Unfortunately one day he’ll let you down and you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that he isn’t the perfect person he’s built himself up to be. You’ll be hurt, but you’ll see the distress and regret in his eyes and you’ll forgive him.
Down the road there will be more slip-ups on his part. He’s only human after all, and everyone makes mistakes. However, his mistakes become more and more...
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To my Best Friend Who’s Going Through a Breakup,
First off, you are beautiful and amazing. Secondly, I am so sorry. I am so sorry that you’re hurting. I am so sorry that you’ve spent so many nights crying alone in your room. I’m so sorry that someone hurt you like this. I am so sorry that I couldn’t protect you from this pain. Since third grade we’ve been inseparable and I’ve gone through every awful and hilarious phase with you. I’ve seen us riding high and I’ve seen us very low. I’ve seen you kickin’ ass and takin’ names, and I’ve seen you with an empty and blank space in your eyes for days at a time. While everything has been changing for us, I’ve seen you do one thing over and over and over again. Persevere. I know this is hard and I know that you wish you could crawl into a hole...
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To the boy who gave me my firsts,
You were my first REAL boyfriend. I was your first REAL girlfriend. When I first met you, I had no idea that you would change me forever. You were the first boy to ever really take me out on a date. The first boy to open doors for me. The first boy to kiss my forehead and tell me everything was going to be okay. The first boy to give me flowers. The first boy that I knew who truly loved me. But one day, you decided to end all of those firsts.
You were my best friend. I told you all of my goals, worries, and hopes for the future. Hell, you even became a plan for my future. I confided in you. I told you things about myself I've never told anyone. I was madly in love with you so I thought "maybe it's okay to open up". But then I became so vulnerable...
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