An Open Letter to Christian Girls Who Lost Their Virginity Before Marriage

Subject: An Open Letter to Christian Girls Who Lost Their Virginity Before Marriage
From: A Girl Like You
Date: 14 Jan 2016

It was my first week at a secular college, after transferring from a conservative Christian college. At eighteen, I had never even kissed a boy, so when a friend of my roommate made a move, I was all for it. I don't know if it was boredom, or low self esteem, or the promise of a "real college experience", but I went all the way. Almost immediately, the fact sunk in that I wasn't a virgin. After the initial, "I'm not pregnant", worry was over, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. I had let my family down, my God down, and myself down, in one swoop. I didn't know who I was anymore. Without the good girl, Christian persona, that I had spent eighteen years perfecting, I felt empty.
I felt used and worthless. What kind of good Christian man would want a dirty slut? I mean, I hadn't even known the guys last name! Granted, not being in a relationship with him when we slept together had been my own choice, but it made it worse. And he didn't want a relationship. I sank into a depression, my lowest moment was sobbing, drunk, on the bathroom floor. But after my lowest point, I had a moment of clarity. God still loved me. If he could love the adulterous David, the murderous Saul, and the lying Peter, he could certainly love me. So I made myself decide to become okay again. I told my friends about what I had done, and had an honest talk with the boy.
I realized that even if he didn't love me, God did. I may still not be okay, but with help from God and the people who care about me most, I will be. I decided to write this, not just because of my experience, but also because my best friend experienced a similar situation, and I'm sure many others have as well. To all the Christian girls who aren't virgins, I first of all want to say that God still loves you, and he doesn't want you to feel guilty. We're all human, we have desires of the flesh, and we all make mistakes.
I don't regret what I've done, I only wish I had thought about it more. If you have lost your virginity, I want to tell you that you are not used, you are worth more than diamonds, and the right man will love you for exactly who you are. If you're like me, and struggle with feeling bad about the situation, God says to confess our sins, and turn from our wicked ways. It may seem hard, but find someone you trust, and get solid, Christian advice about how to move forward. Each and everyone of you are precious in the eyes of God, and he wants the best for all of our lives. So be safe, and remember how loved you are.

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