When the phone rang last night, I already knew it was you before I even glanced at the handset.
Rather than cringe at the thought of hearing your voice, I honestly welcomed the call. After months of begging you to discuss the issue that landed us in court today, I still—yes still to the very end held out hope that you were calling me last night to be civilized, mature and finally ready to craft a detailed action plan to help you on the path to success, mental-wellness and stability.
Surprisingly, I was even prepared to offer yet another apology, Kailee. One of many apologies for anything hurtful I may have spoken or any negative action on my part that caused you so much anger or resentment.
As we both know as you stand here today-- Unfortunately, that was not how the telephone...
How to cope with family
I was just a child when you left; I was just a baby in fact, just 3 years old. I was not able too much on my own. I was left alone because you could not lift your head far enough off the ground where you slept the day before, unable to make it to your bed. It was not just the alcohol that had a hold on you, but the spoon that you used not to feed me but your addiction.
I held on to my older sister just 3 years my elder, to make my food and take me to play to act as my mother not just during role play in the game “house” but in my life as well. She was my example, the leader I would follow, I was her shadow. We did it all on our own. Our innocence corrupted by your ignorance.
I write because I have to say thank you. Thank you for being who you are, because you have made me who I am...
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I want both of you to know that I am not writing this letter for you but for myself and my emotional and physical wellbeing. I am not concerned about how this letter will make you feel or what repercussions it may bring you or our family dynamic as it wasn’t of any concern for the two of you while the abuse was taking place. I have lived with the burden of being a product of this families abuse for way too long and it’s not my burden to carry its yours. I told you that I was not ready to talk to anyone and the two of you chose to attempt to use religion to minimize the abuse and manipulate your children to forgiveness. I am not in the slightest bit surprised after all it has been the overall narrative that the two of you choose to spew to your children. All I see is fear, guilt and shame...
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Bear with us. It's not that we don't want to give love and receive love in return. It's more that we're afraid to give someone the power to break our hearts into a million pieces.
When you are a child of divorce love and relationships mean something totally different than your peers. We've seen how every "I Love You" can turn in the blink of an eye into "I Hate You" and relationships torn apart.
It's difficult for us to use those 3 little words because we know what they can turn into and we have seen it first hand. We understand the full weight of those words and it may take us a long time to say them to you. When we do though, trust that we mean it. We wouldn't be saying it to you if we didn't know in every fiber of our being that we are truly, madly in love with you.
We try to...
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No words in the English language can accurately describe my love for you. You have become one of the biggest influences in my life, and I couldn’t be happier that I get to call you my best friend. You have taught me that it’s okay to love myself and be confident-you are the reason I am who I am today. But on those nights where I just didn’t feel like I was ever enough, you were the one who I ran to, and you never hesitated to take me in and make me realize I was enough for you, which was all that mattered. I’ve never laughed so uncontrollably to the point of hyperventilation with anyone else but you, and I want to keep it that way. I love how you still listen to my problems even when they sound like a broken record, and I love how you come up with different advice each time. You are,...
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I wasn't a little girl. I was twenty-four years old. Been living with my husband for almost six years. I knew you and mom were having some difficulties. I would of never dreamed it was something you couldn't work passed together. Thirty something years you were together. But here I am now, writing this letter in which you will never read because I have no intentions of speaking to you. I stayed through moms side through the whole divorce. I knew she needed me. There were little things she'd say that would ignite a rage so deep inside of me that I would just have to walk away. But you know the difference between you and I? I would come back. Because I could not for the life of me, walk away from my mother. My mother who gave me life, who taught me to be kind to other people yet take no...
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My father is a recently convicted paedophile. These are not easy words to write, and believe it or not, they're even harder to say. But it's the truth, and no amount of beating around the bush is going to change the matter. My father is a recently convicted paedophile.
It's a tough position to be in – to be a family member of the guilty party. I'm not one of those who was abused during the course of my father's actions, now have I received any sort of abuse, first-hand, from anyone who is aware of the connection between us. Yet, I still consider myself a victim of his actions. I still feel as though I have a right to, at the very least, an apology.
Let me explain my reasoning, and hopefully, by the end of this, you'll agree with me.
The investigation and court process took just...
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To my little brother and my little sister
I love you. I love you so damn much that I gave up my chance to get away from our family. College was going to be my escape, my grand get-away. Until your conception was announced during my senior year of high school. Now I go to college an hour and a half away from home. Too far from you both, but too close to your parents. In the end, though, it was my choice to stay close by. I did it for you, for myself, but not for them.
Do not mistake this for a love letter—it is an apology. I’m sorry that I was not good enough for our mother. I’m sorry that I never stood up to her for the abuse she put me through because I know that you will suffer the same fate. I’m sorry that I did not fight back; make her see her true self, so that you...
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Despite everything, you are the strongest man I know. I will always admire you. You show your strength even at your weakest. You are inspiring, and I hope to grow up and be like you and Mom. You never gave up on me, even when I was a hormonal toddler or when I was a troubled teen. No matter where the sickness takes us, I want you to know these things. Dad, these are my promises to you.
1. I will take care of myself, because I know it hurt you when I was battling my eating disorder.
2. I will watch A Christmas Story every Christmas, no matter how old I get. It's a tradition that I will never let die.
3. I will never lose the values I share with you.
4. I will always remember that you were the first man to ever love me.
5. I will always appreciate what I have, because I know...
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I write this letter as I know I would never be able to convey my words to you without sobbing.
When I was a child you taught me to respect and value myself and that I should expect the same from others. You taught me that I was just as able and as valuable as any boy. You taught me to stand up to bullies. You taught me to value and love others. You taught me to respect others without giving consideration to any difference they may have from me.
Today, two days after the election, I feel as if you have betrayed those values that you so deeply instilled in me. Today, I believe I am mourning some of the respect I lost for you on November 8, 2016, more so, I believe, than I am mourning the victory of Trump.
-your all loving daughter
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