Love Letters

I wish I could really and truly tell you everything. There is so much, so much, that has happened since we started this game of seeing how long we could go before I'd call you. I wish I could run back to you, ruffle your hair in that jesting way, and play in the boring halls of our stifling youth. Today, we talked on Snapchat. Which is dumb, but so are we. I actually sent you pictures of me. I wish I could tell you about how you're the only one I do this for. You're the only one I still let see any part of the real me. I stopped responding. I wish I could tell you how I stopped responding because I heard a song. I wish I could tell you about how it made me cry, because it was the song that I found when my cat -the only real friend I'd ever managed to hold onto other than...
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Loving love is dangerous. There's nothing quite like it. I've never felt feelings like that before and so confused. What does it mean when you're so deeply in love with a girl that you fail to see that she isn't in love with you? We had started talking during a very difficult time of my life while I was overseas. This girl.. wait no woman.. and a single Mother at that, came into my life and made that hard time so easy. I felt so connected as we talked every day. Keep in mind I knew this girl from back home it wasn't an E-Harmony thing or anything. I was beginning to lose myself in her, I felt like I could trust her and I felt that she could trust me. Disclaimer: I've never been in love before. No not that I haven't been with women but I've never loved one. (I thought I had at the time...
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I wonder if this feeling is real and true. Was it? Is it an admiration? You are my best friend and I considered you as a blessing. Though we're still building our friendship even more and more each day. Calling each other through our mobile phones until dawn and we'll talk anything under the sun. I don't think I have enough words to explain how much you matter to me. You've helped me not to feel scared to face life alone, more than anyone has ever in my life. The long nights of laughing at what seems like nothing and everything, the pep talks, the time checks and the teasing. I haven't many people close. But I'm so happy you let me in your world and able to see things that makes you happy and be part of it. You never fail to slap me in the face with dreadful reality when I need or deserve...
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I just spent two powerful weeks with my fiancé before watching him board a plane to head back to his bride. His ‘bride’ is the Military for the next two years. It is hard being so far apart. We fight all the time when he is away. We bicker about dumb shit like what time to facetime or if he thinks about me when he is away. Hell we even fight over whether or not we are still in love. This fight phase doesn’t last long before we find our routine again and look forward to talking but it is hard. If you are in a relationship with a soldier you know what I mean when I say we don’t see each other very often but when I see him coming toward me in the airport he makes my heart race then he grabs me up and hugs me so tight I can’t breathe. There is no better feeling than that moment because I...
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Dear Cashier Boy, I guess I couldn’t keep how I feel about you to myself too much. You figured me out. I guess you could read me more than what I anticipated. For the longest time I’ve been dreaming of what it would be like to grab your attention. I had it in the palm of my hands for only a little while, but I think it has slipped through my hands. Maybe I shouldn’t read too much into this because there’s nothing too serious going on between us, but I feel like I have ruined something. I had your attention for a short amount of time, and I only did what you wanted. Showed you what you wanted to see. I exposed myself, and that’s something I don’t do for anyone. I don’t let anyone see me the way you’ve seen me. I did it because I thought maybe we could be something. I think you saw too...
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Dear Cashier Boy, Back in 2000, if someone came up to me and told me that one day I was going to like you, I wouldn't have believed them. I wouldn't have believed them because I was so young, and boys had cooties. I didn't see you for years because I transferred to another school. One day, I was looking around my stuff and I stumbled across our yearbook. I, of course, immediately looked at our class picture, and I wondered if you had a Facebook. For shits and giggles, I searched for you, and I found you. How funny. I was surprised to find that it was actually you. I didn't think much about talking to you because we didn't interact in school. You were a grade higher than me, and you had your own group of friends. I, on the other hand, was an outcast. I didn't have very many friends,...
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To (Insert Name) I remember the day we first met. It was random; luck of the draw. The first time I saw you, I didn't know you'd mean so much. It was instant though. We clicked right away; not romanticaly though. It was only a couple weeks before I began calling you my best friend. It was only a couple months before we were together constantly. If we weren't together then we were constantly texting. You taught me what real friendship was. I could talk to you about anything; good or bad. You never judged me. You were always there for me when nobody else was. You didn't know it then, but you were the only reason I made it through the hardest time of my life. It wasn't long after that you told me you were falling for someone. I mean, you had always been in a long distance relationship, but...
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When I met you, I thought I was in control. I ignored the pain I had endured and I thought I had recovered. When I met you, I was so deeply in love I wanted you to know the truth about everything. And so I did. I threw in a white lie then and again, but you usually knew and you made me tell the truth. I had never been so honest with anyone in my life. I have always had a bad habit of lying. I used to lie when it didn't even serve a purpose, I used to lie to build an image of myself that wasn't true. I was so afraid of what people would think or say. You were the opposite, you didn't care about what other people thought of you. We had a rough relationship. My mental health, that was more serious than I could've ever known, made you work extra. And it made you extra tired. My mental...
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Dear Brandon or any future lover my best friend has, I know you'll never see this but my best friend is quite in love with you. Her whole schedule is dedicated to thinking about you. I'll never understand why this is. You're an asshole. Nonetheless, here's a guide to dating the love of my life. She's the most beautiful person I know. But she's so insecure about herself. It breaks my heart to hear the way she talks about herself and see the way she looks at herself. So when she asks you why you love her and starts a big fight. Just know that she genuinely doesn't understand the love you hold for her. Constantly remind her why and she'll eventually understand. If you can't treat her like she deserves the world than you don't deserve to be near her. When she loves...
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Dear C, I won't ever forget the day I gave you that hickey. We had music playing in the back, my bedsheets were flying off the mattress and your heart was completely and utterly beating out of your chest. That was a moment for me, a moment that just made me want to kiss you. How could I ruin my friendship with you like that, though? The only reason you wanted the hickey was to show off to the guy you liked. It had nothing to do with me, but it broke my heart once more. I've never been the best at love and you know this. I always hurt people. I finally figured out why I do this. My first love was you, Cheyann. I was completely and utterly falling in love with you. You broke my heart and maybe it was for the best, but after that day I couldn't seem to let my guard down to potential...
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