What was I to you ?

Subject: What was I to you ?
From: M
Date: 30 Dec 2021

To- A
It’s the 31st ,I still haven’t stopped waiting ,for you mimo , so here I am in this snowy Shimla evening inside a warm library on the rusty desk, high enough to jot my feelings down and write this open letter to you .
July 2021 , for the first time in a long long time there was you , sitting next to my drivers seat , someone whom I thought of going though the speed breakers of life with , you.What is it that five months passed by and my love for you hasn’t melted one bit .Apart from making all those embarrassing playlists , google searches, posts it never seems to go away one bit so much so that I feel numb to the core of my chest ,this void of ours seems to deepen every second ,every inch making me realise that I wasn’t just infatuated with you ,there was more to it .
Do you feel the same ? Or was I just that another girl ? What was I to you ? Damn I have so much on my mind so many baseless expectations , desires , hopes ,still. There’s so much I wanted to read to you , share it with you, do with you hold your hand , go to bookstores , kiss you in libraries, cry with you , cuddle with you and I hope the next time we meet we don’t just cross paths , Gosh I get it I’m a hopeless romantic but I know you are to ,shamelessly .
I love you , I’ve loved you ever since the moment I saw you .