When we first met, i was a 17 year old high school failure. I was failing everything in school and in my social life. I mean i’ve never even had a real girlfriend before. But then i met you. I remember everything about that day. Your big beautiful blue eyes, your long brown hair and your surprisingly big ears. I always that they were cute. We talked for a while i think til like 3-4 in the morning and we clicked right away. I always remember the feeling i had whenever we talked. Wether it was in person, text or facetime. At the time, i couldn’t describe it, but i loved it. Then you dropped the bombshell, that you actually live 4 hours away and it would be difficult to be a couple. We never officially began dating but we definitely liked each other. One of our first times hanging out was us watching the babadook remember. Things were so awkward because we both wanted to kiss and cuddle but we were both to shy to do so. Then you left, but promised you would be back during the 4th of july. So i waited. I waited patiently and the month of june flew by and before i knew it you were back. And i will always remember this day because it was the funnest day i have had. You came over, we snuck to the apartment rooftop, watch the fireworks, then snuck into the pool and chilled there for a while. Then we went back to my house and watched terminator 2. In the morning, we were still on the couch, cuddled up next to each other and for once in a long time, i was actually happy. I just wanted time to stop. I just wanted to stay there. But then you had to leave again. I remember just feeling like after that something was missing. Even though i had fun, i wasn’t fully satisfied yet. Then thats when texted and asked me “ if you’ve never had a girlfriend, then have you had your first kiss?” and that was it. Most guys are looking to fuck, but i never had that urge with you. Wether we did or not didn’t matter to me. I just really wanted to kiss you. Really badly. So we met up again, talked for a bit, then we kissed and i remember feeling like i was on the top of the world. Nothing could possibly ruin my mood. I was happy. We continued to talk constantly for the next month. But we both knew that things weren’t gonna work out. We tried to delay it for some time but there’s no point in being afraid of the inevitable. So we decided to be friends. It didn’t help that we decided this 3 days before my trip to see you. And was gonna cancel too but you told me that you still wanted to hangout with me and im glad i did. It gave me the closure i needed in our little pseudo-relationship. Whenever i think back to our relationship, i think back to happy times. I was young, inexperienced and more happy. If i can say one thing to you right now, it’s thank you. Thank you for not only showing me what it’s like when someone is really down for you, but for also teaching me patience. that sometimes its better to wait.
open letter to my exes PART.1
Subject: open letter to my exes PART.1
Date: 16 Sep 2019