To My High School Children Deflated about Playing Time

Subject: To My High School Children Deflated about Playing Time
From: Mom
Date: 20 Jan 2017

When you walked into the house last night from practice, I listened as you shared how frustrated you were about playing time. You explained how hard you are working, how much time you put in over the summer, and how the coach barely notices you in practice and in games. I wanted to make it better. I wanted to fix it. But it would be a short term fix to a long term problem.

I have read countless open letters from athletes to their coaches who didn’t believe in them, coaches who pushed too hard or didn’t push hard enough. Athletes upset because they didn’t get the playing time or the recognition they deserved. Kids who quit, blaming their coach. I’ve met parents who were angry because their children were not treated fairly or believed the coach didn’t like their kids. Parents who went to athletic directors, principals, and anyone who would listen, blaming the coach because their child wanted to quit or had lost all their self-confidence.

On the flip side, I have also read the letters of athletes who were motivated by coaches who they felt didn’t believe in them, and coaches who didn’t give them opportunities. Players who sat the bench and decided to work harder because of it. I see it from both sides because, as a parent, I have taught you to make your own decisions and to choose how you respond to the situation. It’s the classic, “Is the glass half full or half empty?” More importantly, I hope that I have taught you that life is not fair. You won’t get medals and certificates every time you participate in something. Your coach or your boss won’t always praise you for your hard work, nor will a job well done always be recognized. You will not always get equal opportunities on the court or on the job.

What I will tell you, though, is that you will never look back and regret sticking through it. You won’t regret working harder than you’ve ever worked before to reach a goal, even if it doesn’t work out the way you thought it should. You see, life is bigger than being a starter on varsity, getting significant playing time, or even playing college sports. It’s about always doing your best and not being afraid to push yourself when things get rough. Because of this, I am not worried about you as you finish high school and head off to college, continuing on this amazing journey called life. You have shown me that you have endurance, that you are not afraid to fail, and that you will pursue your dreams with a passion. And that you did it on your own.

Your #1 fan always,

Mom

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