To my...Almost??
I fucked up, again. every time there’s a possibility for something good in my life, i fuck it up. all my friends told me that you were into me, hell even some of your friends told me. but i let my insecurities get in the way, again. it’s so disappointing to wreck something for yourself, because the only person to blame is the same person who got you into the mess. i couldn’t get out of my head, i couldn’t listen to the words you were saying. i could hear you, but i just couldn’t listen. i wish that i could say you broke my heart, but fuck, i broke my own heart. it took me a little while longer to realize my feelings, and i’m truly, deeply sorry if that hurt you. i genuinely apologize if i lead you on. that was never my intention, all i wanted was to let my guard down....
Broken Hearts
how can I say that I still feel, deep in my heart, that you want me, that you need me and crave for communication? Maybe I wish it to be true and SO much that I'm starting to think this feeling is mutual and I can feel you through distance and time. A very wise witch once said to me that you and I met in another life, and we were married. Can you imagine it? Us? Married? No shit, we surely were having tons of sex till you decide to cheat on me and I dissappeared from your life forever, till the next life, which is this one.
It's ironic because if that's true, then this life taught me something: I am the other woman, the mistress, but I am suffering too. Our relationship is doomed and there's no happy ending, can you see it?
To be honest, I'm afraid, I'm afraid of not seeing you...
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To My Future Husband...
I went through my first heart break. I can’t breathe. I barely ate anything today and sleeping is out of the question. I find a small comfort knowing you are out there somewhere. Maybe we’ve already met, maybe there’s still years between us. Maybe you’re going through a heartbreak right now too. If you were here would I be sad? Would you comfort me? Would we know how much our lives were going to matter to each other? I have no idea about the what ifs. What if this guy didn’t break my heart? What if he still wanted me? What if there’s still a chance for us? What if you’re him? What would you say when you read this? Would you be sorry? Would you regret us? I have no idea... I don’t want to go through another heartbreak. I am in so much pain and I always thought...
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Hey All
My life was like a fairy tale all the way till 19 Feb 2018, the day on which I made it hell. I was very happy, i was spending time with my most caring loving and as awesome as always best friend whom i love the most. He is amazing I have not found anyone like him till now and i am sure i will not find anyone like him in future.
You know he never wanted me or anyone around him to shed a tear from eyes. He did everything for everyone of his friends, never thought about anything else than friendship.
First time when i met him i didn't wanted to talk to him, obviously i was having attitude, but getting to know about him it made me grounded. He made me and many people with their high attitude landed on the ground by his humbleness and his attitude to tackle people.
Things...
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I have always been told about people in abusive relationships. I never thought I would be in one myself. No one can show you what it looks like, and we don't seem to listen when someone tells us that something is wrong. We're "in love" well at least I was. They never tell you what it feels like, the first time they do something that just shreds you to pieces. See when you spend enough time thinking about it, even you don't understand why. They're not heartless of course, just heartless to you.
The first time it happened, I didn't know what to think. I have always known what it's been like to be ignored by someone, but not someone that you hold so close to you. I guess if you've ever been heartbroken, you'd know it's like being in a cold shower. You can't breathe and it feels like you...
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M,
I wasn’t ready for that conversation we had on the phone a few years ago, and I was so nervous to hear your voice after so many years... to be judged by you... I’m afraid I was an ass. I couldn’t really connect the dots and put into words what I wanted to say to you about my regrets from the past. I was still figuring it out 5 years after we broke up. Now that I am married, I have looked back and I realize I can’t go through all my relationships in life running away from my problems and I have to take responsibility for my actions. It has taken me 10 years to really see how things were and how much I really hurt you. I was too hurt myself and proud to admit to you that I was wrong. I was the one who crossed the line and I pushed you away. That song you said was about me makes me cry...
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Dear universe,
I've heard that if we ask for your help, your assistance with an honest true heart you never fail to deliver.
Well I need you. I need you to deliver right now. You see I am lonely, lost and scared. When I look into the future, it is uncertain and unclear. All I want is a kind, honest, funny man who will look after me and protect my heart. I want to meet someone and fall deeply in love. I want us to be happy together and make each other proud and excited about life. I am ready to settle down. Ready to get married. Ready to have babies. Ready to start living.
Please take my life off pause and help to bring me love. Please grant me one wish and bring me happiness and excitement in the form of a wonderful caring man who will sweep me off my feet and carry me over...
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You don’t know me, or even know of me. But I know of you, and I know quite a bit about you. When I say I know a lot about you what I mean is this- I’ve been in your home, eaten your food, rode in your vehicles, met your children, and gotten very close to your husband. Yeah, that’s quite an opening statement, I can only speculate what is going through your head right now but I can imagine that it is some combination of pain, anger and furry, possibly full on outrage.
Since it’s clear I know who you are, I’m guessing you want to who I am? Well, I’m the reason your husband started taking so many selfies. I’m the reason he comes home extra sweaty after being at the “gym” late at night. The reason he hasn’t minded that it’s been months since you have had sex with him. And I’m the reason...
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“The people, in general, cannot bear very much reality. They prefer fantasy to a truthful recreation of their experiences.” - A conversation with James Baldwin
“Most people can’t see themselves. The hardest thing is seeing pain on someone else’s face that you caused and having to deal with yourself. Most people don’t want to do that. You don’t want to look inside yourself, and so you walk away.” - Shawn Carter
It is true, that the general majority of people function (if it may be called that), in striking, deliberate ignorance of reality. This is to be expected. It perseveres as no great secret that the unsolicited circumstances we find ourselves born into are the same conditions that inescapably shape who we are. From our conception we are a troubled people. However, it is the...
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I used to think that I was fat
Because thats what you always told me
They told me I was alright
But that was never quite enough for you
You needed me to be more than I was
More than I wanted to be
And I could never say no
Because I didn't want to cause your annoyance
So I started to diet
I started to starve
Because I wanted to be perfect for you
You told me I was inferior to you
And I believed you
Because to me, you were perfect
You were always right
How could I have been so stupid?
They told me I was beautiful inside
You told me I was a dumb slut
Dull
Boring
Ugly
There was nothing I could do but believe you
Why?
You wanted it all from me
And every time I couldnt give you what you want
You'd be filled with annoyance at me
All over again
Fine...
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