I have unsuccessfully written you this letter in my head numerous times over the years. In the past, I was unable to put into words exactly what I wanted to say. I couldn't find the right words to say nor could I string together the right sentences to voice everything that was left unsaid between you and I even if you never read this.
Initially, my letter to you was bitter, angry, and full of regrets. But with time, I came to terms with myself and the history we shared. Regardless of not ending up together like we once endlessly promised each other, you were a learning experience that taught me so much. And as time continued to pass, the wounds fully healed, and I realized that I owed you a thank you. I will forever cherish the memories we created together.
You made me believe in love, and for that I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You came into my life at such an awkward time. We were both hitting puberty and you were my world. You provided me with endless happiness and laughter. Damn did you make me laugh, all. the. time. You fixed all the broken pieces and wiped away all the tears.
You believed in me at a time in which I didn't even believe in myself, and for that, I thank you. By your side I felt invincible, and everything felt so much easier on me because of your constant support. You made me feel like I could do just about anything. You always encouraged me to face my fears and to challenge myself. You knew I was worth more than what I thought of myself and never failed to remind me of it.
People sometimes say "love knows no age," and you truly made me a believer of that. We were young and innocent (some would even call us dumb), but what we both made one another feel was real and no one can ever take that experience from us. Despite constantly hearing that we were too young to be in love, we made it work for the time we spent living in each other's hearts. Thank you for all of the ups and downs, for helping me grow as a person, and for being my first heartbreak.
We thought we could make it through the long distance and even through the changes. We both had social groups and lives that needed to be lived in middle school. We went through these motions every year. When summer began it was comfortable and normal to begin again with you. As years went by and we became different people it was easy to see how different we were. You became too toxic for me. You were so wrong and something I wanted so badly.
We eventually moved on as much as we could. Thank you for being a friend after all of our history. But thank you for teaching me lessons about love and who I was. Because of you I was able to get married and know which mistakes not to make again. Because of you I was able to know who my future and forever was. Thank you for being my past.
For a while I thought I never got closure and needed too but I realized that these random memories of you wont go away. I always will wonder how you are doing and check in through Facebook. Thank you for being a dear friend and setting the bar for the man I am going to love forever.
Thank you for being my first love,