An Open Letter to My Almost

Subject: An Open Letter to My Almost
Date: 31 Mar 2019

Dear Almost,

I am writing this letter to help gain a sense of peace, closure, and the strength to continue moving forward.

I didn’t see you coming. Having only known the feeling of toxic love, I did not have many expectations for dating anymore and was quite content being single and on my own. You came out of no where and before I knew it, I was hooked and the love I felt for you hit me like a ton of bricks. From the moment I first laid eyes on you when we met over coffee that day, I knew you were going to be a huge part of my life.

The ways in which we were connected were anything but a coincidence. If you ask me, it was fate. Our moms grew up together, I’ve known your step family for years, your dad lived directly across the street from me in the past, and yet we never crossed paths until that day. We shared the exact same sense of humour, as well as a love and passion for many of the same things, and in such a short time, we quickly became a big part of each other’s lives. Your friends became my friends. Your family felt like my family. I was convinced that I had finally met my person, my soulmate, and that I was finally getting the happiness and happy ending I deserved. Everything was perfect, until one day, it wasn’t.

She hurt you, she hurt you bad. I know because I have been in your shoes and when you experience the kind of pain that she put you through, it takes time and great strength to heal those wounds. I did not think much of it at the time, you were the one that left her after all and it had been 6 months. But if I have learned anything from this, it is that you cannot put a timeline on healing.

I was patient with you. I waited. I wanted so badly for you to be ready, but you weren’t. You knew it wasn’t fair to me, so you let me go. You did the right thing, but it hurt me more than you’ll ever know. To this day, there is still not a day where you haven’t crossed my mind, and it has been months.

I don’t hate you. I don’t think I ever could. Everyone keeps telling me that I should, but I don’t. I hate the universe. I am so mad at it for bringing me you at the worst possible time and taking you away from me just like that. Some days are easier than others, but words cannot express how much I miss your presence in my life. I think you’re seeing someone new now and I am happy for you. I am happy that you’re happy and that you have healed and broken free from the toxic chains she had on you. A small part of me can’t help but wish that this was me. If only I had met you 10 months later, it would be me. But it’s not and that’s okay.

As much as I wish that things were different, I think we came into each other’s lives when we did for a reason. We both needed to meet each other. To be able to feel and believe in love again. To see what a healthy relationship can and should look like. To see what qualities in a partner are important to us. And to learn more about ourselves and grow. I am so thankful for the time I got to spend with you. Even though our relationship was short lived, I will cherish the memories we made forever. As for the new girl in your life, I hope she treats you with nothing but kindness and respect, and gives you all of the love that you deserve.

Thank you for being a part of my journey, a chapter in my story. You have impacted me in more ways than you will ever know, and I hope that I have done the same for you.

Goodbye. It is time for me to find my happiness now too.


Your Almost