An Open Letter To...

Subject: An Open Letter To...
From: Anon.
Date: 10 Feb 2018

I used to think that I was fat
Because thats what you always told me
They told me I was alright
But that was never quite enough for you
You needed me to be more than I was
More than I wanted to be
And I could never say no
Because I didn't want to cause your annoyance
So I started to diet
I started to starve
Because I wanted to be perfect for you
You told me I was inferior to you
And I believed you
Because to me, you were perfect
You were always right
How could I have been so stupid?
They told me I was beautiful inside
You told me I was a dumb slut
There was nothing I could do but believe you
You wanted it all from me
And every time I couldnt give you what you want
You'd be filled with annoyance at me
All over again
Its okay.
Forget it.
And then you'd leave
What should I do next?
I'd always take it because I knew
That thats what would please you
I went along with everything you said
Yet I was never perfect
I looked forward to those times
When after a good day
You'd compliment me
Tell me I was great
But its been a while since a day like that
Why? Was I always that bad?
I cant believe I did this
But I just went ahead and said
Im done
I still regret this
I know I shouldnt but I do
I cant stop thinking about it all
Your only using me to meet your ends
Your calling me so many names
But most of all
I cant forget the times you were so sweet
And though I know how awful you are
It doesnt matter.