For a while, I've been debating whether I should write this open letter or not. I've never been someone to strongly express my views, but with many of my friends and acquaintances sharing strongly-worded opinions, I've felt the need to clarify a few things.
First, let us not lose sight of what's ultimately happening here:
We have a constitution.
We are voting to change this constitution.
Whether this change is a positive or a negative thing will be determined by national vote.
Our constitution is an integral part to our country. By its nature a constitution must change and adapt over time, but these changes should never be taken lightly. If you want to make an informed and unbiased decision then please go straight to refcom2015.ie or even read the constitution. Every other account (even mine) will add our own (perhaps unconscious) bias on what your vote means.
If you're still reading I would like to apologise.
Apologise to you - as a citizen - for being caught up in such a tensely-fought, emotional battlefield. As any TV talk show, radio debate or postered lamppost will show, this is a contentious issue. By natural extension, there are extremes on both sides.
No matter what views you have, you'll undoubtedly have been called awful names, told your beliefs are wrong, been emotionally blackmailed or simply been ousted in your social circle.
This is particularly true in social media, where voices reverberate and amplify within their own 'echo chamber'. Beliefs are easily radicalised when you're amongst like-minded peers. Great if you share the views; discriminating if you don't.
If you take only one thing from this letter, let it be this: Make your vote an informed decision.
If you've been through refcom2015.ie already, you can stop reading. You've obviously taken the time to educate yourself. You already know the differences between marriage and civil partnership and you've made up your mind whether there're significant discrepancies or not. You've made your vote an informed one and it would be arrogant of me to try and change it.
If you're still reading, thank you for your patience. I won't try to sway your vote but I want to clarify a few things. Over the past number of weeks I've seen facts skewed and statistics mis-quoted. It's prompted me to write this open letter in the hope that I can tell as many people as possible the following:
Firstly, a 'No' vote doesn't make you homophobic. Yes, I realise it's frustrating for the 'Yes' voters. I realise (properly) the hurt and pain that homophobia has caused, and the anger and injustice felt. However we need to see the difference between disliking someone for their orientation, and being hesitant to change the constitution. It's a difference which might be difficult to see, but one that's essential to understand.
Secondly, the adoption agenda is (largely) a separate issue. I know that the vast majority of 'No' voters have no issues with gay people. You don't even have a problem with gay people marrying. Your concern is that adopted children need a mother and a father and you don't believe aunts, uncles, grandparents, godmothers or godfathers can adequately fill this role.
However, The Children and Family Relations Act (which addresses adoption topics) has already been signed into law. I realise that many 'No' voters - and frankly much of the 'No' campaign - is based on problems gay adoption may cause. But please realise that this has already been debated, passed, and signed into law.
Regardless of the referendum outcome, any co-habiting couple living together for 3 years can adopt. The only change a 'Yes' vote would make is to dispense with miles of bureaucratic red tape.
And finally (if you haven't closed this page yet) remember what this referendum is: a vote, and only that.
Albeit an important one, at the end of the day we're all Irish citizens and we do still have to get on with one another.
So whatever your views, whatever the result, whatever way you voted, I hope you can graciously congratulate your neighbour in their successful outcome.
Referenda aren't meant to divide a country; they're a necessary element in a democratic process. They allow every person (no matter how small) their equal voice. It's the fairest method of seeing what the most people think is best for our country.
So make sure your voice is heard.
Make sure to vote on Friday.
Most of all, make sure your decision is informed.
And of course, thanks for listening.
:)
