To my male best friend who i accidently fell in love with

Subject: To my male best friend who i accidently fell in love with
From: Me
Date: 26 Mar 2019

To be honest, i really don't know why i am writing this, and i also have no idea how to begin this.

I know you because you are the brother of my (female) best friend. You were in Australia for a year while i got to know your sister better and better. I didn't really realised who you are because i may saw you a few times until then. When you came back, you get into my class in school, and i remember the first time we had math class together, you were sitting in front of me and that was when i first really noticed you. My first thoughts on you were something like, wow, he actually looks very good.
The next summer my best friend Allie invited me to go on vacation with her and her family. I agreed, not knowing that this will be the time were I get to know you better. I am really shy but from the first moment you somehow knew how to talk to me and i felt so comfortably with you. We three spend all day and night together talking or doing anything, the time was so great.
And when we came back home that dind't change, i would come over like every day, you even thaught me how to juggle. In all this time i got to know everything about you and so were you. I learned to trus you really quick and so we started being best friends.
And somehow, i think i don't even noticed it, i fell in love with you. When we first met you had a girlfriend but she breaks up with you a few weeks after that. I started to hug you when i went home in the evening, and we hugged more and more. We started watching series together and sometimes we endet up cuddling and i really enjoyed our time, but i never did more than hugging you, because i was too shy and too afraid of you don't feel the same i did. And maybe that was a mistake, but i'll never know, because a few weeks later you met another girl and you two seemed to like each other. I remember a night you walked me home and told me that you really like her. My heart felt like freezing but i won't let you know this. A few days later she kissed you but you kept it a secret for two weeks. The first time i saw you together i spent the night crying.
It's been six month since then and nothing changed. You two are so happy together and everytime you say something about her i have to act like i'm completely fine with it and that really hurts.
I never told anyone about this, and i don't think i'll ever tell you. You are so confirmed that she is perfect for you and maybe you'll marry her sometime, who knows. Maybe i did the mistake of not telling you about it. Sometimes i wonder how this would be if i told you. Maybe you liked me too, maybe we would be together know.
But i'll never know.