To the man who chose alcohol over me

Subject: To the man who chose alcohol over me
From: your soon to be ex girlfriend
Date: 17 Oct 2016

You don't realize what you're doing, do you? Drinking every night because you're stressed or because it's cool to drink or because you can't do it when you're older or simply because you're bored. So you decide to drink your life away, you didn't see it coming but I did. You went from a kid who likes to have fun to someone who depends on alcohol to live or even to sleep through the night.
"I’m not an alcoholic" you say as you're taking your 12th shot in the past hour. "I’m just having fun" you say as you're taking your 15th shot. It’s gotten to the point that you can drink a whole bottle of alcohol and "feel nothing". "I’m not even drunk" you say as you're stumbling around trying to stand.
You decided that alcohol is more important than keeping relationships. You don't even know but your friends worry about you every time you take a sip of anything. But god forbid someone even says one word of care before all hell breaks loose. Your family constantly texts you every day to make sure you're alive because the fear that alcohol might have won that night. You distanced yourself from those who love you because you would rather choose a poison over friends and family. You decided to drink every night instead of spending time with your friends.
Here I am at 5:30 am, writing this while you are passed out next to me. You say you love me but who do you love more, me or the alcohol? You don't know about the countless nights that I couldn't sleep or wake up at random hours of the night while you are "having fun" because I’m scared that you drank too much or got into trouble. You don't know that I constantly wonder what would happen if you didn't wake up from one of these "fun nights". And you don't know these things because alcohol tells you that I’m being controlling or that I’m complaining. Isn’t it amazing how something so small can turn into something harmful so quickly?
You don't know that alcohol is slowing breaking down our relationship, so slowly that it's painful. It’s like ripping a band aid off and then putting a new one on just to rip it off again. I wish you understood what you put people around you through.