To the boy I loved who never loved me

Subject: To the boy I loved who never loved me
Date: 23 Sep 2018

Dear Freddie,
I don't know where to begin. The pain I feel without you is like nothing I have ever experienced, made ten times greater by the knowledge that you probably haven't given me a second thought in months. I am walking and wounded, with thoughts of your arms wrapped around me circling in my head. The image of us crying with laughter together is forever etched into my brain and is constantly torn to pieces when I remember the words you said to me that made me fall apart inside.
"Well I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way. We're not going to work after this. I'm sorry it's so harsh but that's just what it is for me. I wish you the best of luck for everything you do in the future."
I never knew that words could cut so deep. I never knew I could feel so intensely human with pain. I never knew my insides could physically wrench and twist every time a good memory of us crossed my mind.
All I want is to talk to you. To tell you that I'm sorry for never asking if you were okay when you changed the way you acted towards me. For being so self-involved to think that it was my fault and that it was because you didn't want to be with me. I'm sorry for assuming you were okay when you probably weren't.
I miss you more than I've ever missed anyone and I wish I could be with you.
I can't put this pain into words but I've given it a go. I know you'll never see this but I hope to god I don't feel like this for long.
all my love,