open letter to a system that failed me, to the man who took my high school years away

Subject: open letter to a system that failed me, to the man who took my high school years away
From: Ashley Martinez
Date: 15 Mar 2016

Star players get away with everything or at least that's how the system is set up to see I don't know the man who made my life do a 360 within two days. I mean of course I seen him in the hallways a couple of times it's hard to miss a 6 foot 4 African-American star player. It was hard for me to miss him walking through the hallways. But it was pretty easy for detectives so not see him. My middle school days were a little rough I didn't put as much time and effort into school as my peers. When I graduated eighth grade buy a complete surprise I didn't attend graduation I got my diploma and left. I was determined to make high school the best years of my life. Meeting friends going to prom graduating all of those things where my bigger picture. I wasn't even thinking about college or any of that I was thinking about making these years count I needed to walk on the stage for graduation! September came I became friends with two girls who were awesome. Our science teacher called us the Three Musketeers. It was great we had almost all the same classed. I skipped school once or maybe twice. Now I wasn't skipping any classes at this point and I was thinking there's a bigger picture I just have to get through this first year let's do this. So now all that's left to do is focus again and strive. Of course with my luck I ended up getting the flu so I stayed home for two days and when I return back to school third day with the flu. I couldn't control the pains in my body the fever so I said OK I'm just gonna go home .I knew mommy wasn't going to be upset or anything and I'll she knew that I was sick and to be honest I had seen and left myself through the main door so I knew my school wasn't something that I need to be worried about or disciplinary action being taken on me just leaving. I figure since my phone was across the street from the main exit to the building and I was on a completely different side, so going through hallways and different staircases was the only way I knew how to get to the second floor closest to the main exit. As I'm walking down the staircase I'm confronted by Mr. star player senior. He said hello he said what are you doing come on. Now I'm 14 I don't know what the fuck is going on so I said listen I can't chill with you today I have to go home ( I really wasn't feeling well). Mr. star player senior doesn't understand what no means. He didn't know me from a hole in wall so I found this all to be weird. At this point things happened quickly. I am being pulled by my arm "no you're coming with me" Everyone is where I am suppose to be in class, not even a soul could be detected in this long wide Hallway. As he's holding me with his superman strength and pulls me into what I remember as the narrowest room known to Man. We couldn't walk in together side-by-side so he pushed me to go in first. Just two boxes at the end of this hallway room & my voice echoing "I have to go home I have a curfew please let me go". Now I'm facing him he's facing me with his hands still on mine he starts pulling off his basketball shorts. Believe me when I tell you I was beyond scared. Before he could get his pants low where his crotch was visible there was a noise he quickly pulled me and dragged me to another staircase fairly close about maybe 2 feet away , now my right arm is behind my back and he's holding it pushing upward. I'm in front of him about two staircases up and he's that on the platform a guidance counselor's coming down my eyes are As watery as can be and she asked is everything OK his grip got tighter. I swear I think I lost circulation during this time. I just looked at her with she would understand the pain and the ultimate shocked that I was in but that didn't happen she left and he dragged me up a flight of stairs when I got to the second platform he might go with me for a second so as he was walking now few close to me but in front of me I Kinda slowly try to go back without him noticing that I wasn't with him my back it a fire extinguisher box. And he grabbed me put me in a headlock drag me up another flight of stairs that that that everything went down. He Ejaculated on the staircase said thank you and then left. I was in shocked I couldn't believe it. Literally what was running through my mind was this didn't just happen just get your phone and go home which is exactly what I did I got my phone and I went home and I told one of the girls that had became friends with she said you have to tell somebody that's it. I said fuck it if I'm going to be a victim I'm gonna be his last victim not just one of them and I when I told the principal if I'm following day. The first thing they asked was what was his name and I looked around and I stood up but my head down and said I don't know. I broke down and repeated I don't know about a million times. I gave the principal and dean a timeframe and a "map" of where this all happen. Moments later he is checking the security cameras. He showed me the picture of the guy he said to the principal this is him *BLEEP*. Mr. Senior/ Star Player. Next step was call mom and go to the precinct. As we were on our way I was remembering the fact that I watched all episodes of Law and order SVU but I never thought this would be happening to me. As I'm sitting down in the Manhattan special victims squad thinking to myself how crazy and so real this feels. I don't want to repeat my story for the umpteenth time that day. They got all the information and said tomorrow November 4 don't go to school we are going to pick him up. I'm sitting at home as the detective calls it was 11 something in the morning I remember because my mom is getting ready for work and she says OK we got him but he says it was consensual so. I remember thinking to myself "so", there shouldn't be no so I'm telling you what happen there's proof I mean there's security is he showing him pulling me and headlocking me and everything but in their eyes that look what was like "Horseplay" then the lovely Department of Education said well you can't be in the school or when I have to find you a new school and then I remind you that it's November you have things giving break then shortly after Christmas break so I missed two months of school I started again in January I went to about three different schools for my settle down and one shortly after settling down particular score ended up dropping out. Mr. star senior that's a graduate the school that I put on my high school application six times this was a nightmare. After everything happened here I am four years later hating everything about this person because of him I have struggled beyond words I grew up so fast and some would say that it benefited me but personally it's destroyed every whole piece in my body that was left after this incident. We pressure these girls to come forward when something drastic traumatic and unforgettable happens but we have a system where; I don't even know how to begin to describe the system in which we are living by.

To Mr. star player you're about 22 years old right now and though you may not think of me or even remember me for that matter I think of you every single day of my life and I don't think I will ever stop thinking about you because what you did to me ruined my life. You decide it would be to take ownership of something that was not yours with my given to you and after all that you still got to stay in the school graduate and be seen as a star player.

So the girls who are victims the system might have failed me, in ways that are unforgivable I remember telling my therapist I said you know what I want I just want somebody to say I'm sorry whether it's the police department The Department of Education or the DA didn't give a rats ass about me anyways I want somebody to shake my hand and tell me that there sorry not sorry for what I'm going to sorry for their actions on their part sorry for not being able to help me sorry for The fact that I couldn't go to high school sorry for the fact that I have no friends sorry for the fact that I am a complete mess. The reason I wrote this was to get this out of my chest is been for years I'm tired I am drained emotionally physically mentally so I wanted to get this out. But just because the system failed me doesn't mean they will fail you maybe your evidence a stronger or something or someone comes to your rescue and helps you. And if you are a victim and you're not sure whether not to come forward re play these words in your head "A VICTIM........ LAST VICTIM"