Open letter to Sakae Esuno

I want to congratulate you for discovering a Masterpiece in Mirai Nikki. It is a universe so full of sorrow, yet so overwhelming with value. I believe if anyone sees this story unfold before their eyes, and their heart doesn’t move them to tears, then that person cannot consider themselves to truly be alive.

I for one feel so very much identified with every character within the story, in fact, I feel as if I had been quartered and each of them embodied an aspect of me. My own beliefs are deeply rooted inside of the narrative. It was more than 4 years ago that I discovered this tale, but it wasn’t only until recently that I finally experienced it. However, during all this time, Mirai Nikki had been a ghost in my head, begging for my attention. At this point I apologize for neglecting it for so long, and am deeply in gratitude for finally having it reveal itself myself to me.

With Yukiteru, I share his innocence and naivety (even though part of me has become a misanthropist), I also share his sense of powerlessness, his desire for a better world, even after losing hope, wanting our parents to return together (even though this desire for me was many years ago). I also share with him the tendency to be left to my own devices, even leaning on “imaginary friends”, wanting a camaraderie that appears to be too far to achieve.

Like Minene, I have a hatred of religion, belief that it has divided us all, and if that there truly is a God, he should be dealt with, for standing silent as the world crumbles. I also share with her this secret desire to be saved, no matter how tough and aloof I act. And that as adults we simply come to resign ourselves to a life full of sorrow.

In Tsubaki I see the same sensation of being wronged by the world, being either neglected and abused by my kin, rejected or assaulted by my peers, sometimes just wanting it all to end Sharing with Hinata a sense of desire to be acknowledged by our fathers, even though she genuinely spent time to feed her father’s dogs, with this her father being oblivious that she did, showing care for his interests, in my case I worked with my father, but never truly came to make his business my own, never was diligent as she was, so this professional bond did not pave way towards a better relationship (no matter how we pretend we did).

I also have this belief, on possible futures, more than other peoples that just theorize or wonder how the future would be or if how the present would have been if something is performed differently. I believe that all those critical events in my life, the times I had a terrible crash, that time I tried to commit suicide when I was twelve, that time my aunt was enchanted by me and wanted to take me to live with her when I was a child, I am sure that somehow all those events that where and their outcomes branched off somewhere to different futures. Sometimes I also simply want to travel to the past and kill my younger self, wondering what he would think of me. Or how things would change if done differently.

For the rest of the letter, I want to defend (and comment upon) an often reviled person, and share how she means to me, and how I identify with her. Despite how questionable her actions, I know Yuno is not evil, she had to endure having to kill her friends twice, having to lose her emotional pillar once, and every time she smiles, laughs, I am sure she fractures, and she tries to repress this, to cope with the horrible circumstances and the horrible choices she has to make. I am tired of hearing people calling her crazy, stereotyping her as a “yandere”, without bothering to understand her deeper. Yuno is such a complex person

You see, I for one share Yuno’s stalking tendencies, while I do not play through them, I do share Yuno’s desire for love, Yuno’s willingness to die and do anything for those she loves (even if it remains unrequited and oneself relegated to be a shadow), reminiscing about happy times with our families (my father singing some silly songs during long drivers to keep my brothers and I entertained) before our tragedies, being called a Devil by my mother (like Yuno) and that I should be exorcised, or never had been born, remember that time when my mother clawed at me with her fingernails almost to the bone when I was 7, neglected by my father, never really being there for me, always too busy with his work, never minding how his actions would affect us as a family. At times while not injuring them, I would more consciously think of how a world would be without them. In the end, I feel deeply connected to Yuno, want to believe myself that I remain pure-hearted as she does, despite our personal tragedies.

Like Yuno, I came to think I do not need friends. Mostly because those few friends I have, turned against me, or told me that their folks believed I was not a good person to relate with. Like Yuno, the very few, friends I have (just one to be exact), being very important to me, even though it is by no means romantic. However, I do not have the diligence of Yuno, even when I am very affable with my colleague, I do resent when he ignores me, and do believe it is matter of time just for me to be alone.

While I do get along with most of my co-workers, and mostly all those I contact with, but I am not hypersocial and involved. I do feel that if I had someone to love, I would be obsessed and reciprocate. Like Yuno, who desperately tries to make herself believe she does not want friendship, I myself try to convince that I do not need it, while secretly craving it. At my house, I never was kept on a cage, but had a harsh discipline when it came, and I would feel like a prisoner in my house, sometimes locking myself in my room for hours, battling against depression. Yuno’s ability to succeed despite her circumstances, and perform so well, worthy of emulation.

Yuno is an extremely powerful, talented person, with enough commitment and drive to overcome all obstacles in her place, take constant rejection from the one person she loves, yet never abandoning him. Having endured twice the thought of having to kill him (even when she would gladly die for him), killing her own self twice, being tossed to the greatest depth of despair, and frustration, yet have the over humanly capacity to function under such stress, and still retain her friendliness and enviable performance (thanks in large part to her emotional Pillar: Yukiteru). Not only this, but she retained throughout the way her kindness, that allowed her to make peace for herself, and commit self-sacrifice so her loved ones could have a happier life.

To those who simply drool upon the bloodbath, and label Yuno a murderer and nothing beyond that. Here is a question for you, why did she not kill Hinata outright the moment she captured her at the abandoned hotel? Why did she contain herself at school when MInene was killing everyone? She tried to assure Yukiteru that his schoolmates where his friends, even then she wanted to be an emotional backbone for Yukiteru, and believed that this could have a positive outcome. Instead, from the start, she could’ve simply had Yuki run thru the building as it collapses and let everyone else die.

At the end she actually felt terribly hurt as she witnesses Yuki’s classmates apprehend him, and notice how this feeling of betrayal impacts Yuki. She felt she had let him down. This is one of the many faults from the rest, which placed her trust in humanity into question. I am sure that despite her jagged, jaded self, she still yearned for happy days, for a better solution to all. Like Yuno I shut myself to a future, reason why I understand how she feels. Sometimes I felt like an automaton, sleeping, working, eating, just because it is expected, just because it is required. Those days where I had aspirations banished. Like Yuki, I branded myself a failure, but nowhere do I have the fortitude that Yuno has, to still excel on those things that occupy her mind, and overcome the difficulties she has to face (despite having extreme conflict interpersonally and externally). I chose to slump into mediocrity. You see why it is of vital importance to me that somehow, we get a future glimpse at Yuno's lives? In some fashion, I came to admire her and depend on her.

It is my opinion, that if anyone here is to blame, for all the ills and tragedies, it is Deus, for playing on chance with people’s hearts and minds so much, exploiting their pasts, and worst of all tossing people into such a decisive event, this “game”, without revealing the rules and the potential outcomes from the very beginning. It was because of his malice that Yuno let Yukiteru die in the 1st world, thinking he could revive him, and lose all hope when she discovered that she could not revive him after all, not even with the powers of a god. Furthermore, how blind can he be? Could he not sense that Yuno’s love for Yuki was true, and he predict Yuki would return those feelings? Wouldn’t things been less complicated, if their respective diaries where in form similar to 7th’s?

I also partially blame Yukiteru for so long doubting Yuno, not once wondering why she acts as she does, and not wondering about her true feelings, not until the very end. Instead he would swing between rejecting her, trying to make her feel downright abominable, to abusing her in his overdependence. If he was so aware of his shortcomings, he should of at least tried to ask her assistance to help him better himself. However, I am so very happy to see that in the end he came through for her (as he had done so in the past), and came to understand and empathize with Yuno, finally acknowledging that he loves her, and that like Yuno, he could not be without the other. In the end, I believe it was the best outcome, even if it was due to mere chance. Yuno was able to see that a better world was possible, Yuki came to realize he loved Yuno, and even if it took 10,000 years, both of them are finally together.

All I want is to do is to thank you again for sharing this tale with us. My heart is always with Gasai Yuno, wherever she is, and I only hope someday she may give us an update of her life, by your pen, and let us know more about her HAPPY LIFE. I would also dare to ask you where is my Yuno? In hopes of seeing more of Yuno in the future, I would like to share glimpses of some possible scenarios:

1) Yuno encounters an anomaly, from "Another World" a person not in the initial plans of Deus, nor the game, that has trained a lot to be at least 1/3 as efficient as Yuno (to be of use), entirely devoted to her, and whatever makes her happy (Yukiteru's safety), willing to go to great lengths to assist her, even when such devotion will not be reciprocated. Only wish being to be able to be useful and reduce the emotional stress, tax upon Yuno. Even if it is at his death, happily dying if it meant he was able to assist Yuno somehow, and wanting her happiness. Then in the perfect world, if may be this guy can be reincarnated unto Yuno's dog, or even her shadow.

2) Deus provides a dual diary to both Yukiteru, Yuno, like the 7th, where they would not be forced to kill each other.

3) We experience Yuno's and Yukiteru's life together of gods of a new world, in which the couple have to face the challenges of nourishing and protecting this world, having Yuno finally able use he talents in a more positive way.

4) A drama where both Yuno and Yukiteru do not participate on the game, instead choosing to go into hiding (this happens right after fighting 6th), their major and only concern to grow their relationship, and be happy as the world may or may not end before them.

5) A what if, in which Minene is able to become a positive influence to Yukiteru and Yuno, from the very start. Becoming Yuno’s best friend. In here, because of Minene’s guidance, Yukiteru achieves bravery sooner, to be able to help Yuno not be destructive. Where Yuno learns how to use her talents to incapacitate, not to kill. Where the trio seek ways to avert the end of the world, without having to kill anyone, nor playing into Deus’s whims. Life besetting with trials, which they overcome to become stronger and wiser.

Thank you, again, for letting me experience this incomparable tragedy, with its bitter-sweet end, so worthy of reflection and full of hope.

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