An Open Letter to Prince William and Kate Middleton

Subject: An Open Letter to Prince William and Kate Middleton
From: Theodore S
Date: 4 Dec 2012

Dear William and Kate.
The media have declared that you have “announced” that you are expecting your first child. I understand that Clarence House has “revealed” that you are “delighted with the news”. I am also told that The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall and Prince Harry and members of both families are also “delighted with the news."
Hold on to your royal chairs, you two… because… I just don’t care. It’s not big and it’s not clever to conceive. I’ve done it. Millions around the world have done it. I truly can’t understand why the media give miles of column inches to your news. Less and less people care about Royalty in this country. The Diamond Jubilee was the last gasp, the last Hurrah for an outdated money-sapping scheme that is well past its sell-by date.
I have nothing against you personally. I don’t know you. You only impact on my consciousness when you appear on the television or in the newspapers. And of course when some of my taxes go to make your lives comfortable. I have no choice in the matter. Any more than I can ask for my taxes to go to any particular charities or worthwhile instruments of Government. But I object to some of my taxes going to support you in a life where you two, and your baby when it’s born will never want for anything. I would rather my money go to a subsistence farmer and his family in the Sudan. But I do not even have the chance to make that choice.
Still, you share some things with me- like the NHS and experiencing the recession. Oh.. Wait a minute; the hospital you went to, Kate, was a private one. So glad you have the money to be able to not support our NHS. Money that we taxpayers have given you. If you are “our” Royal family then you should support national institutions like the NHS. As for the recession. It won’t touch either of you will it? Do you know what austerity is? Do you care? Do I care what you care?
I guess families have to stick together and as members of the Royal Family you have to dance to the Royal Tune. But it’s a nice dance isn’t it? A Quadrille for the Rich. A Fandango for the Famous. No doubt you will say that you and your baby will do lots of work for charity. Charities that you choose. Tell you what, why don’t I cut out the middle and instead of giving you my taxes for you to spend your time raising money for your charities, I’ll give it direct to those that I choose. Ooops. Sorry. I’m bringing an element of choice into the matter. And we, your subjects have no choice in the matter. Strange in a civilised democracy isn’t it? Doesn’t that tax your brains like you tax my pockets?
At the end of the day, William and Kate, you will live in your world and I will live in mine. I just wish I could stay out of yours like you stay out of mine. But I have to support you. Don’t bother replying. Like you would.
Yours ever,

Theodore (Tax payer in England)