An Open Letter To My Best Friend's Rapist

Subject: An Open Letter To My Best Friend's Rapist
Date: 13 Mar 2016

You were my brother.

Not in blood, but in spirit. You were who I came to with everything. Advice on love, untested jokes, news of any kind. But most of all I came to you with trust. We all did...Hell, you were dating one of my best friends. You WERE one of my best friends. And that's what's made this all that much harder.

It's a funny thing about rape - it doesn't just affect the parties involved. It shakes the community surrounding those parties to the core. My two best friends were connected to you in such an intimate, your recent ex of years, and the other, your victim. The obvious question is "What were you thinking!?", but it goes so much deeper than that. So many tears have run down my face since that day. Tears for her pain. Tears for the pain of everyone else affected. But also tears for you. A part of me mourns the little boy inside of you who was likely abused and discarded. I'm sorry for the pain you have had in your life. You deserved more. And she deserved more than your abuse of her.

Fuck you. Fuck you for the entitlement. You have no right to help yourself to a sleeping woman. You have no right to assume "she wanted it". You had no right to claim she's overreacting. Fuck you for the denial. It's only a slap in the face to everyone involved. You didn't only affect the life of the woman you violated, but everyone close to both of you. You upheaved an entire friend group. A family. How dare you have the audacity to claim that you did nothing wrong. Tell that to the hours I spent comforting my sobbing soul sister. Tell that to the degrading rape kit she had to endure. Tell that to the vice abuse that loomed over her like a dark cloak, just waiting for her strength to waiver enough to tighten its hold. Tell it to my other best friend. Your lover of nine years who you disgraced. Tell it to the others who accused you in the past. The ones we shunned because we loved and believed you. I dare you to try and get sympathy from the ones you used and threw away.

Fuck you for the night I had to lie to my best friend while I criticized her and tore her apart in the hopes that if I could get her angry enough at me, she'd realize she didn't want to kill herself after all. Thank Goddess it worked. Oh yeah, that suicidal woman with her self esteem destroyed? Yeah, she was totally asking for it. How dare you. That night will haunt me for the rest of my life. And her night with you will most likely haunt her for the rest of hers.

After everything, I do thank you for parts. I thank you for the lesson in trust without jade. I thank you for the strength I've found in myself to lift my sisters up in times of despair. I thank you for the incredible rebirth I've witnessed in your victims. I thank you for my own unjaded caution and the unbridled determination and bonds that were forged in the wake of your mess. There is no dark place of doubt for you to hide now. She has the strength to call you by your true title. RAPIST. Not a friend. Not a brother. She has defied you and we will strike you down. We now see you, Fallen Brother, for what you truly are.