An Open Letter To Hot Dudes Instagrams

Subject: An Open Letter To Hot Dudes Instagrams
From: joseph lamour
Date: 18 Jan 2016

Dear “Hot Dudes” Instagrams,

It’s me, journalist and gay-person Joseph Lamour. For 32 years, I, like so many others, have appreciated the sight of a piercing set of blue eyes, a chiseled jaw and a sculpted set of abs on a hot AF brunette fella. How could I not, when that image is presented to me in all forms of media, in advertising and right in front of me when I go to the beach?

I, connoisseur of fine male specimens, have looked thoroughly at popular Instagram accounts “Hot Dudes With Dogs,” “Hot Dudes In Beds” and most recently, “Hot Dudes With Kittens” and noticed a pattern. Can you guess that pattern? Here, look at this screenshot of the three and see if you can see it.

Ah yes, gorgeous men as far as the eye can see. Much appreciated. However, though I’m a lover of a six (or — gasp — eight) pack of abdominal muscles, I also look at other types of men for eye candy than Zac Efron, Colton Haynes and that guy in the neighboring apartment whose lights are always on but whose shirt is always off.

It’s this appreciation for the male form in all it’s varied and delightful shades, sizes and gender expression that leads me to ask this question: Why do you insist on posting the same exact kind of person across all your media?

Sure, this may be just what you’re attracted to, and that’s cool. I do see one post of a black cat with matching man in one of your feeds, which means you find a range of people sexy, if shown the right person.

Yet, when you’re the Official Hot Dudes Page (and I would like to see some credentials thank you) this comes with it’s own set of Official Truths. Namely, for up to 300,000 people, many of who are young and just forming their ideas of sexiness, you’ve defined “sexy” as — you guessed it — a white guy with abs.

It’s seemingly innocuous stuff like a Hot Dude Instagram that contributes to body image issues, including the 10 million men in America that will face an eating disorder. (Yes, it happens to men, too.)

Body image, race and class are not issues that squarely sit on your shoulders, no. That would be ridiculous. But, your three accounts can help fight these things with the very popular Instagram handle you own right now.

How? Have you seen “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” yet? Of course you have. Even if you haven’t, you may have seen the unquenchable beauty that is John Boyega. Or the picturesque magnificence that is Oscar Isaac. Here’s a refresher:

Hubba hubba, right? I ask you, “Hot Dudes With Kittens,” why not include either of them in your spreads? They both have been spotted with very cute cats.

And “Hot Dudes With Dogs” Instagram, here is a picture of Seth Rogen with the cutest dog in the universe.

Like your Instagram accounts, do with these images what you will, but just know that Seth Rogen is hot AF. It’s a fact.

Love and Ab Crunches,

Joseph Lamour