Hi Amy!!!
How are you? GREAT, I hope. You've got a gorgeous man, amazing career & a body that I'd kill for! I don't know how many of these messages you get a day, but I have thoughts to write & because you've been in my mind a lot lately, here they are... I battle OCD & anxiety. I have felt a lot of shame about it since being diagnosed at age 15 and I used to let it define me and others used it to define me as well. NOPE. NO MORE. It's just a part of me. Like the scar on your leg is a part of you. It's NOT who I am. I am everything. Including beautiful. HELL YEAH. I was able to figure that out by learning from you. While you teach many women self empowerment, you're inspiring and teaching me and I'm sure many other LGBTQIA+ men and women out there to love myself everyday, because why the fuck shouldn't I love myself?!
They're lots of times where I feel that I am discriminated against because of the kind of person that I am. While I am automatically privileged that I'm a white male, there's always something that people are going to use against someone to try and lower their self esteem. In my case, it's being a feminine outspoken NOT THIN or MASCULINE (or whatever the fuck that term means among gay people) male who longs for love but gets disheartened with all of the internalized homophobia and hate amongst men mostly in the LGBTQIA+ "community". We're supposed to be this community it feels like in my generation, there's just hate. Another reason I'm telling you all of this is because a predominantly white gay male website today is releasing shirts that say "NO FATS, NO FEMS" on the shirt that is exclusively designed for muscular bodies, indicating that every other kind of body type and attribute from someone is unworthy of attaining love and happiness..link here: https://marekrichard.com/collections/tank/products/vd16nofatslatnk?varia... - My mind immediately went to "How would Amy handle this internally?", and I know you wouldn't stand for it. Bridget Everett (you know I love you, Bridgett) and you both sort of appear in my brain as guardians saying "FUCK THAT NOISE".
I just wanted to let you know that currently I've been in a struggle to figure out my purpose in this life and while I am trying to listen to my soul, it's not easy. I just wanted to tell you how much you inspire me. Seriously. You, Amy, as a person inspire me. Not just Amy the comic, not just Amy the actress. Amy the WOMAN inspires me most of all. I'm assuming you have a lot of people always approaching you telling you how much they love you or how they think they are you, but I truly am inspired and motivated by you on a daily basis. Ever since I found out about who you were, there was this INSANT connection I felt to you. Being a gay male, I don't relate to most males, even gay ones. I was raised primarily by women so I've always been relating to them my whole life, which is one of the reasons I feel as though you're a teacher to me. But I doubt myself constantly and go through life as a question mark a lot of the time. I go through periods like this, but these are just feelings and they're not forever. While all this is going on, something that keeps me at peace and have hope is watching you speak in interviews, doing sit down talks and just being the badass human that you are.
I guess the whole reason for this message is to say thank you to you, Amy, for keeping my hopes up when I feel down, and always being that bright light for me. Side note, I was a bartender on Broadway for over three years and when you left those guys at Hamilton the most generous tip, you would've thought it happened to me because of how excited I was for them and how incredible you are for just fucking GETTING IT. YOU GET IT. Not many people do. I'm trying to do my best to not make this seem like a DRAMATIC letter, but fuck it, it's 2:33 am and I'm emotional. I just want to say thank you for being a constant source of light for me, Amy. I'm so happy that this world and culture is celebrating you, because you deserve it. I hope to meet you someday soon, I'm sure it'll happen at some point because we both live in Manhattan, but in case I get choked up whenever I meet you, you'll have this open letter to remember why I am so moved and inspired by you. PS my family and I are coming to see you make Madison Square Garden your bitch in June. Can't.FUCKING.Wait!!!!
All love,
Lucas
