To my Mother

Subject: To my Mother
From: The one who can't forgive you
Date: 28 Jan 2016

You were supposed to be there for me, supposed to be the one who took care of me. Help me when I was hurt. Make sure nobody could cause me pain. How could a mother not care about her own daughters pain? How can you tell people that I was lying when I so clearly wasn't? I was six years old, and your boyfriend molested me. He raped me. He told me I couldn't tell anyone. I was a child. I didn't understand. I just knew that he had hurt me and told me nobody could know. So I kept his secret for a couple years. Thankfully you weren't together much longer, but one day you saw him out. You brought him home. And wondered why I was afraid of him. You told me to stop acting the way that I was, you didn't find it odd that a child was so terrified of a grown man. Eventually when I spoke up about what he had done, you told people that I was lying, that I had never even been left alone with him. You were MY mother, and you lied to protect this sick bastard that hurt me. You didn't care. How could you do that to me? And now 10 years later I haven't spoken to you. You SOLD me to my father. You lied and said I couldn't have been raped. And yet you wonder why I can't talk to you. Why thinking of you makes me want to cry and bang my head on a wall all at the same time. Because of you I had no childhood. I grew up way too fast. Endured way too much pain. And saw way more than a young child should have seen. I was depressed and suicidal for many years but now I can finally say I'm happy. I don't have suicidal thoughts. I don't cry myself to sleep and have nightmares every night. I may have let you ruin my childhood, but I want you to know that you will not ruin the rest of my life as well. I'm surviving just fine and I don't need you in my life.
Sincerely, your daughter who no longer loves you

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