To the mistress/now girlfriend

Subject: To the mistress/now girlfriend
From: The ex wife
Date: 25 Aug 2016

Dear mistress/now girlfriend-

It takes a lot of balls to date a married man. I can just imagine how proud your family is of you. To be a new employee at your job and date your forty-something boss, a married man with 2 children. You must be swimming in a sea of self-confidence knowing that he broke up his family, got kicked out of his house and went crawling back to you. Congratulations on scoring the man of your dreams.

Now that he is divorced you are free to share your love openly. You no longer have to hide your relationship and can declare your true love for each other. You can parade around in front of the community, in front of your families and in front of my children. This must be everything you've ever dreamed of. Never mind that he is old enough to be your father.

I know how wonderful love is and I'm sure things are absolutely picture perfect in your world. But- I was married to him for 17 years and I feel it is only fair to share a few things about him that you may not know. I feel the need to enlighten you. It was hard to narrow down his best qualities, but I think I may have captured a few for you.
1. Did you know he bites his nails and spits them wherever he pleases?
2. Did you know he belches as if he's a farm animal?
3. Did you know he pisses in the shower?
4. Did you know he throws his clothes on the floor?
5. Did you know that when he gets nervous he has to shit his pants?
6. Did you know that he actually HAS shit his pants?
7. Did you know that he has also shit the bed?
8. Did you know my mother had to teach him to use a washing machine?
9. Did you know he used to play with his son by laying on the couch and dangling his arm over the side?
10. Did you know he never once got up with his infant daughter, not once?
11. Did you know there were some nights he just didn't come home?
12. Did you know he likes to hit on women in front of you?
13. Did you know he blamed me for my miscarriage?
14. Did you know he was written up for sexual harassment at 2 different jobs?

I know, I know you don't want to believe any of this. You are young and you believe you can change him. I did too. He's charming and knows exactly what to say. Oh, and you must know he likes to drink? Of course you know that! He's the life of the party, the eternal frat boy. But did you know that he has sought help for being an alcoholic? And did you know he was told he should never drink again? He's loud and very funny when he drinks. The alcohol gives him power.

I bet you didn't realize that his kids don't get to see him on their first day of school. They don't get to see him when they get up every morning. They don't get to see him before bed each night. They don't get to see him some holidays, and most holidays they now have to split between us. And they most certainly don't get to see him on the weekends he away with you.

Those things are not important right now, I'm sure. You have him and that's all that matters. I hope you are a strong soul and very confident, because soon you will start to doubt everything about yourself. He will make you question every thing about who you are. He will make you feel inferior. Nothinh you do will never be good enough for this man. Being married to him was a very dark and lonely place. Even lonelier than being a single mother, if you can imagine that!

One day, I will look you in the eye and thank you. If it wasn't for you, I might still be in that loveless marriage. I have been set free and am now able to live the life I was meant to live. A life filled with people who truly love and support me. A life filled with inner peace and happiness. I have been given an amazing opportunity and new lease on life.

Just remember this: a leopard doesn't change his spots.
I wish you the very best.

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