To the man who gave me away

Subject: To the man who gave me away
Date: 21 Jan 2016

It took a lot for me to write this all down because I've never had the strength to explain how I felt, but now I do.
First of all I want to say, I have fought heartache after heartache beginning with you. I grew up having my heart broke by you before any boy ever could. I hated you for years and that's something I had to learn on my own. I didn't do anything to you, all this time I was thinking of the father I lost, but it's you who lost a daughter.
You giving me up, gave me the chance to have the best daddy I could ever imagine. You see I've learned that God's plan for me is perfectly imperfect, and though I don't always understand, I've learned to never question Gods plan for my life. I see you're happy with the family you have now, I used to sit as a little girl and wonder why that couldn't be me, but I no longer want that, I feel sorry for you.
Yet I feel so happy for you. I'm sorry that your such a coward you can't be the man you should be, but I'm happy you found a family that makes you want to be. You see, a father figure is someone a child can look up too, someone a child learns from, you have never been that for me & that's okay because I know someone who stepped up and took the job of being you, when they didn't have too. He is the Man I call my father. So thank you, for showing me what a real father was even if it wasn't you. I no longer hate you and question why you didn't love me, I no longer hurt because of the neglect you've made me feel, because the Man who did raise me, taught me to be a strong women who depends on no Man, not even you.
My heart hurts for the little girls and boys who will face such heartache you caused me, because like you, there are so many men who can't step up to the plate and be the father they should be, but you see, just like me those little kids will grow up and realize it's not them whose missing out, its you. I used to look at my brother and all I saw was you, it would honestly make me sick, but now I see a man that is brave, strong, and definitely not a coward. My birthday was yesterday, I knew you wouldn't call, and that's okay too. I've finally understood that your not the man I want to be my father, I was never missing out on anything, you were.

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