A Letter to my former therapist

Subject: A Letter to my former therapist
From: J
Date: 18 Apr 2016

Dear Tim,

I'm writing this in despair.
you are one of the reasons that I'm despairing, life has been too hard and has only been getting worse.

when I came to see you last year I still wanted help even though experience told me that I would never get help.

when I met you I felt that you were skilled enough to help me and I put faith in you, unfortunately yet again I was going to be let down.

you didn't tell me that you were going to relocate. what you said to me early on with that you wanted to write down about people and authorities who let me down and see if something could be done about that.
of course I should have known from experience that when someone makes grand plans like that they're going to let me down so spectacularly that I'll be left shattered,
it's happens enough times to me, I should know better.

In my life especially it's been men who's taking over my life and have these kind of Grand plans have just been a load of b******* at the end of the day.

when you said you wanted to know what had happened so that you could do something about it I believed you.

I'm an idiot, my case was complex and I knew it was going to take more than an hour a week to explain it to you so that you could help me, so I asked if I could send you background information.

you said I could send you paperwork. what a waste of my time, you'll never read any of it and I came to the sessions expecting you to understand the situation but you didn't have a clue and you asked me things that I had already told you, it got frustrating in the end.

I wasn't really benefiting from seeing you but I knew that I needed to be seeing someone and talking to them it got worse though, you re located without telling me and although you would turn up you weren't there anymore, I was an extra burden to you because you were now working elsewhere.

to make things worse, in all the time I was seeing you your road was blocked by roadworks and in the end with the road completely closed so that I couldn't get to you, and you not telling me how I could get past those roadblocks that you and other people could obviously get past that I couldn't. It was clear that you wanted rid of this burden but wouldn't conclude, you never did.

it was getting too much for me I told you I didn't know how I was going to keep getting to you through the roadworks with the road closed it was causing me a lot of stress, but you didn't care.

You told me you didn't care either way if I got there or not, therapy end that was kind of your decisive sentence on the whole therapy relationship.

you didn't care I had wasted my faith and my time trying to tell you my story, trying to tell you what it desperate mess I was in, how very much I needed to be heard and helped, I needed the pain to stop,

you made it worse because I trusted you with my story and basically you rubbished me, you couldn't be bothered.

I have fought for help the whole of my adult life since I escaped, and by the time I choose you as a therapist and paid you to help me my Hope was fading.

that day when you said you couldn't be bothered either way if I could get to you that day when my friend died and it was raining and I couldn't get past the road works you extinguished My Hope.

trusting you with private and sensitive matters in my life was a very big mistake because all you did was rubbish it and take away my hope. How can I believe in myself?

I can't even try to find another therapist, I don't have any confidence in anyone helping me again. I can't get any help from any source anymore and I'm exhausted.

I wish you had located elsewhere before I made the mistake of contacting you, you played a part in the devastation that leaves me completely and utterly in despair now.

I'm not crying for help anymore, no one is going to help me I knew that when you said that you didn't care either way whether I could get to you or not.

you shouldn't have wasted both our time pretending to care, you shouldn't have taken me on as a client I wish you hadn't if you're a skilled therapist and you let people down like that obviously therapy isn't worth anything and doesn't work.

What is there left now?
I think from the way that you've left me and despair and rubbish me and my story but you shouldn't be practicing, you wasted so much of my time when I could have been seeing someone who might have helped me and might have heard me rather than taking away my Hope.

J.

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